Okay, all done! I've got a few software quirks to work out, but I found that my problem was rooted in a TINY short where a filament from one IDE wire escaped the insulation and grounded itself. All better, though. Let me get you some pictures.
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#!/bin/sh {who;} {last;} {pause;} {grep;} {touch;} {unzip;} mount /dev/girl -t {wet;} {fsck;} {fsck;} {fsck;} {fsck;} echo yes yes yes {yes;} umount {/dev/girl;zip;} rm -rf {wet.spot;} {sleep;} finger: permission denied
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