New daughter

[gospelmidi]

Brian, please let us know about Heather's progress or non-progress. It's OK to share what's not getting better along with how she is improving. We're still being prompted to pray, and we are honored to do so, but a reminder from you helps. With God all things are possible. - Brian


"Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses.
He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions." - Psalm 107:19,20

[Brians256]

Thanks, gospelmidi. I don't update much, because I really don't want to complain all the time or make this event be the center of conversation, even though it takes up a good bit of my day to day. I can't be the emo and consume everyone's time and resources.

Anyways, Heather has made significant progress since my last update here.

She is more functional than she was 6 months ago by far. She can do more complicated tasks, show more emotion, and understand more.

She isn't driving. She probably won't drive. She can take care of the kids for hours at a time if you realize that she may forget to feed them and she'll most likely just pop in a video for them and her. I know she tries, but I don't think she'd be able to respond well in a real emergency. Also, there are days at a time where she just can't take care of anyone, so I cannot, for example, depend upon her being able to be the mom half days. She could do it probably 50% of the time, but I'll never know which day is going to be OK until the morning of that day.

She is still really tired all the time. She can get a full night's rest and still wake up tired. All her blood tests come back normal, so we are thinking this is just the normal recovery and consequence of having had a decent sized chunk of brain damaged by the stroke.

She still doesn't understand complicated conversations, but she can make jokes and remember lots of stuff from her past. So, there's a good route for enjoyable conversations.

The doctors are amazed at how much she's recovered, given what happened, but they caution against any expectations of major recovery from here on out. I still hope, though. She is still doing some rehab work, and I hope it will help her.

My sister-in-law who has been helping us has decided she needs to move out. So, we are in the middle of trying to figure out how the Heather and the kids can get taken care of while I am at work trying to support it all. What do I do about my "just turned 8" son who has finished 3rd grade curriculum but might not do well in a class full of 4th graders? We've been homeschooling him, and the school is balking at placing him in 4th next year. What do I do about finances and scheduling? It's complicated.

Thanks for all your prayers and support.

[satanicoo]

This is YOUR thread Brian, feel free to post whatever you like, or whatever you NEED to say, after all, saying it all out laud helps some times.
No one here has to read this, so you are NOT disturbing anyone, you can trust that

I am just saying this because i have been following this treath with interest and sorrow, you have posted almoust a month ago, and now im curious, is everithing running good for you and Heather? How's her recovery?

Best regards, happy posting.

[pdf27]

Glad to hear things are going well.

[Brians256]

Originally Posted by satanicoo

This is YOUR thread Brian, feel free to post whatever you like, or whatever you NEED to say, after all, saying it all out laud helps some times.
No one here has to read this, so you are NOT disturbing anyone, you can trust that

I am just saying this because i have been following this treath with interest and sorrow, you have posted almoust a month ago, and now im curious, is everithing running good for you and Heather? How's her recovery?

Best regards, happy posting.

Things aren't much different, satanicoo. Heathre is fairly stable but is "sick" a lot. She gets nausea I think from too much (for her) mental activity.

We are still attempting to get stuff setup to where we will be stable and the kids taken care of when my Sister-In-Law leaves for good this September.

edit: for grammar

[MoFugga]

Brian,

I read about your story a while back. We hope things are getting along for you. I still pray for you and your family! Things like this just need some prayer sometimes. Hope all is going well and hope things get better! Glad to hear all the improvments Heather has made. Rock on dude!

[Brians256]

Thanks for the prayers MoFugga. Things are going pretty well, all things considered. You never have all you want, but I've got all I need.

[Long Haired Git]

Ah yes, I know the drama of academic age vs emotional age vs chronical age.
The school my eldest attends wanted to put him in year two, by age he should be in year one, but academically he's working between year 5 and year 7 depending on subject.
We settled on year three, but he's bored and lonely.
If we accelerate him further to ease the boredom, he'll be further socially isolated.
If we put him with his age peers, his class is still "learning to read" when he could read at two, and they're learning addition whilst he's mastered long division.

We err on the side of emotional age peers and agressively push for extention work by the teacher. Eg: My son doesn't normally have any set homework, and we set bits and peices based on where he's up to.

P.S. Keep well, keep sane. Do they have a respite care system in the USA?

[Brians256]

Originally Posted by Long Haired Git

P.S. Keep well, keep sane. Do they have a respite care system in the USA?

Respite care? I have no idea what that is. I don't know how I feel about the idea of the government adding another entitlement program, to be honest. It'd be nice to have some kind of help from the govt (I currently don't get anything) but I have to wonder at how well it'd work. Seeing my govt at work taking care of people recently doesn't exactly give me any faith in it despite all the money it gets.

Sanity. Hmm.... I could joke about it, but I think I've gotten to a revelation about real sanity in the face of difficult odds. Insanity is when you let go of reality/normality because it's too hard. True sanity is when you hold on even when it doesn't make any sense. It seems to work out, usually. Or, I at least no longer care about whatever stress was happening back "then". Usually a good nap helps.

Sounds like your kid is brilliant! Congratulations! It sounds like your family worked well together to help develop that talent. Reading by 2 doesn't happen spontaneously.

[bigben2k]

Glad to hear everything is lining up nicely.

Respite is "essentially" a baby sitting service, to allow you to take some time off for yourself. It's usually provided by some local office, and is for a half-day or an evening.

My wife and I were offered the service by the local MHMRA (Mental Health, Mental Retardation Administration) for her son, but we never used it.

[MoFugga]

I know it has been a while but I was wondering if you are still doing ok? How has Heather progressed?

[satanicoo]

Same: if you have anything to say, just post it, it's been a while.
I hope you have good news

[Brians256]

It's very kind of you guys to remember me. We are doing well these days. The biggest change has been the growing up of the kids, to be honest. My oldest is 14, and the youngest is now seven! Hard to believe it was seven years ago. We've needed to move in with my mom, because we just weren't able to sustain things. She needed the help too, as she also has health problems. Between the three of us adults, we can pretty much do the normal daily routine.

Heather has stabilized, although her headaches have reduced so that she isn't going to the ER for them. THAT is very good. At this point, people can't immediately recognize that she had any brain injury unless they knew her before. There's some low agility, poor memory and a general slowness, but you see that in some people that are factory fresh.

I wish I could pay all of you a visit just to say thank you, but that'd be hard. So, I try to help anyone I see, because I know it what it means to have a helping hand in tough times.

[MoFugga]

I am glad to hear things are not all that bad. Good luck and god bless.

[ben333]

Well glad to hear things are better man, even though I wasn't around here back when this thread was made. Happy new year bro! I wish you and your family well.

[Puzzdre]

Thats some very good news Brian , hope it stays at least that way (towards better, ofcourse )... Happy NY and God bless

[mbradley672]

Hey brian while learning more about water chemistry i found a link about your wife having health issues and I spent the last couple hours reading about your wifes recovery and I am so glad to hear about her sound recovery. I am so glad and happy for you to have your wife back toa somewhat "normal" state I am only 24 and i have some sluggishness as far as cognitive capabilities so yeah

I am so glad for your family getting help from your parents and them seeming to be understanding and also seem like you had some help from the community as well.

I wish her and you many more happy years together. I apologize if I mgith have come off wrong i am on the verge of filling my first Water loop and i'm stressing about finding all information i need to not screw everything up that i havnt slept for about 23 hours now.

enoguh of me rambling i guess lol
god bless

[Brians256]

Quick Update.

I wasn't sure that the site was still running, because I've been consumed with raising kids, taking care of Heather, and keeping my job. Hobbies really haven't existed. So, I apologize for not responding to mbradley672. Life goes on and Heather is improving in little bits and pieces like having a little more energy and some more initiative. It's a race now between growing older and getting better, as we've both hit the big 40 now. Kids are doing fairly well and having normal kid problems (I won't embarrass them by enumerating). I hope that everyone who reached out to us has been blessed in the last nine (Nine!) years.

Congratulations on only some sluggishness! If you had a brain injury (you didn't say), it's amazing to come away with a mostly functioning lifestyle. One of the things that was truly amazing about the brain injury rehabilitation place (we had a great experience at Portland Oregon's RIO - Rehabilitation Institute of Oregon) is that our experience was so minor. Someone (literally!) lost half their brain in an industrial accident and kept going.

It really resets your definition of "OK" when a good lifestyle is defined by being able to toilet and shower yourself without an assistant. Forgetting your doctor's appointment or sleeping an extra four hours a day is really minor. Who cares if you can't deliver sparkling conversation compared to being able to dress yourself? It's surprisingly embarrassing to have someone there for a private function or to have to ask and then WAIT for help on an urgent but private need.

So, mbradley672, congratulations. You're able to move around, have hobbies and enjoy the internet. Win! I really hope you enjoy (enjoyed?) the water loop. It's fun thing to be able to build your own stuff and see it work. Even better is when it works better than the factory equipment.

[mbradley672]

Wow hey Brian. Thanks I have gotten better and hope your wife is still doing okay. i've been doing well as well and have gotten better but you can always tell your not going to be the way you were. As far as the loop goes it's still running great only thing was i was having issues with gfx cooling

[MrE2u]

Hey man. I know this is long after events have happened and who knows what's gone on in the last year. I hope things have continued to progress, but as a (hopeful) future Neurologist I can definitely say the power and adaptability of the brain absolutely amazes me. I really hope I can keep this in mind as med schools will be cramming more information into my brain than I can ever hope to absorb.

Kudos to you. Sincerely.

[Brians256]

Thank you for the kind sentiments, MrE2u. As a recent visitor said, you wouldn't know she had a stroke most of the time. Of course, there are still frustrating things and difficulties, but we continue on and are thankful for her still being with us!

If you really are becoming a neurologist, I hope you can avoid the fate of pride that seems common to so many. You have to be at least two standard deviations above norm to do the job, but please remember that patients are people too, despite their frequent dimness, lapses of judgement, and general foolishness. Your talent and skill is a great gift to mankind.