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Brians256
02-13-2004, 08:24 AM
Shameless plug! I have a new daughter, Deborah Elease Smith, born 7:58am 2/12/04, weighing 5 lbs 11.4oz and stretching out to 18.5" in length.

Woot!

http://www.procooling.com/~brian/images/family_pics/debanddad.jpg

There's me with my "Family" sticker on the dress greens after the C-Section. I was told that is because they don't want to mistake me for a Doctor or Nurse, but I think it was to help the Dad's remember their place: spectator. Snip, zzzzt, blorp, and out she came with nothing for me to do but oggle at the sharp knives and stuff until Deborah came out and exhibited her amazingly effective lungs+vocal cords. Oh, yeah. I get to change diapers too.

TerraMex
02-13-2004, 09:03 AM
Congrats Brian!

No more spectator mode for you from now on ;) .

msv
02-13-2004, 09:10 AM
Congratulations!
Send my best wishes to Deborahs mother.
Is she Your first kid?
regards
Mikael S.

mad mikee
02-13-2004, 09:18 AM
About how far children will naturally overclock, no cooling required!!! :D (They raise your's and SO's temp/BP instead via Tesla - type transference heheh)

Brians256
02-13-2004, 09:19 AM
Congratulations!
Send my best wishes to Deborahs mother.
Is she Your first kid?
regards
Mikael S.

Hehe. No. Not my first. My fourth. So, I have plenty of practice in changing diapers and so on. I just thought it was funny to get that big "FAMILY" sticker on me, as if they didn't know who was on staff at the hospital and who wasn't on staff. It reminded me of the big letter 'A', for all of you who read classic English literature.

pHaestus
02-13-2004, 09:42 AM
They have the stickers now because I was caught rummaging around in the meds... "Nurse! I need 250 mg morphine STAT!

Congrats Brian! I hope the boys don't burn down the house when you pass out from exhaustion.

Boli
02-13-2004, 10:11 AM
You allways forget how small newborns are untill you come face to face with one.

I myself have no children(for which the world is truely thankful) but my younger sister was born 9 years after me... so I can remember all the smells and noise they make.

Congrats mate.

~ Boli

Brians256
02-13-2004, 10:29 AM
They have the stickers now because I was caught rummaging around in the meds... "Nurse! I need 250 mg morphine STAT!

Congrats Brian! I hope the boys don't burn down the house when you pass out from exhaustion.

Well, I think my wife is doing a good job at getting all the meds. She's had morphine, dilaudin, demerol and now she's on some self-controlled drug pump because of some surgical complications (I think it's trapped air in the abdominal cavity causing her gall stone to lodge in the duct). But, and she's gotten three units of replacement blood so far, so that should help with all that she's lost (she hemorrages with every birth, unfortunately).

guandi
02-13-2004, 12:25 PM
aww, congrats man :)

i really like seeing other people have kids, reminds me to never have any myself :p

your gonna have to put an electric fence around your computers... juice plays havoc with keyboards...

best of wishes your rapidly expanding family unit :)

bigben2k
02-13-2004, 01:23 PM
Congratulations Brian!

Blessings to your whole family, from mine. ;)

superart
02-13-2004, 04:35 PM
You allways forget how small newborns are untill you come face to face with one.
~ Boli

Yea, tell me about it. I was was scared to hold my little sister untill she turned like 12 months. She was so small, I was scared I'd break her or something.

And then I saw the doctors or nurses or whatever changeing the newborns' diepers in the hospital, and theyd be like juggleing the kid in one hand and holding the diapers in the other, it was crazy.

Joe
02-13-2004, 10:18 PM
Congrats Bri! They the guy thats holding your kid has a funny name "Family" What kind of name is that?!

hehehe GJ!

Supa
02-13-2004, 10:28 PM
Hehe. No. Not my first. My fourth. So, I have plenty of practice in changing diapers and so on. I just thought it was funny to get that big "FAMILY" sticker on me, as if they didn't know who was on staff at the hospital and who wasn't on staff. It reminded me of the big letter 'A', for all of you who read classic English literature.


I hated that damn book

congrats

joemac
02-14-2004, 05:02 PM
Yea, tell me about it. I was was scared to hold my little sister untill she turned like 12 months. She was so small, I was scared I'd break her or something.

And then I saw the doctors or nurses or whatever changeing the newborns' diepers in the hospital, and theyd be like juggleing the kid in one hand and holding the diapers in the other, it was crazy.

LOL – The first time I saw the changing of newborns I also freaked :) man babies are more robust than they seem. In fact I know a guy who’s father dropped him during the first hour of him being born and he seems to be alright (only problem is minor dumbness which may have been inherited). :D

Yo-DUH_87
02-15-2004, 09:03 PM
Congrats Brian, my best wishes for you and your family.

Brians256
02-16-2004, 11:15 PM
Update:

Just got back from hospital with my new daughter but I didn't get to bring my wife with us. Hemmoragic stroke in the right basal ganglia and she is in the stroke ward. This means that she had some bleeding in the right side of the base of her brain. This made her lose some motor control on one side and have a difficult time moving, talking and thinking. OK, that's the bad news.

The good news is that it was a very small hemmorage and she is projected to make a complete recovery (timeline unknown though it might be as soon as a couple of days). Thank God, she had it while she was IN the hospital right next to the stroke ward! So, no worries, everything is going to be fine and we hope she gets to come home in a couple of days after they finish running tests to figure out why a 30 year old woman burst a blood vessel upstairs (normally you work up to this kind of thing by living for sixty or eighty years first).

Whew! Do you get this kind of excitement in your lives too, or am I just the lucky one? I have to think that there are a lot of you with similarly exciting events as well.

Now, off to take care of the four kids.

Joe
02-17-2004, 12:59 AM
I just drive cars into lakes, nothing that exciting ;) heheh


Best wishes for your wife!!

warpath
02-17-2004, 05:04 AM
yesterday i found a dollar...
that was pretty exciting....


CONGRATS BRIAN! hope the wife feels better

Brians256
02-17-2004, 08:46 AM
Thanks, y'all.

Brians256
02-17-2004, 07:28 PM
Well, it looks like the possibility of her recovering quickly is not there. She may not be able to be even minimally there for 6-8 weeks. I just visited her in the hospital today, and she wasn't even able to talk to me. Like there's nobody in there. Bummer.

bigben2k
02-18-2004, 12:41 PM
Sounds like you'll have your hands full for the next couple of months! ;) Here's hoping that she recovers well.

Joe
02-18-2004, 02:55 PM
Well, it looks like the possibility of her recovering quickly is not there. She may not be able to be even minimally there for 6-8 weeks. I just visited her in the hospital today, and she wasn't even able to talk to me. Like there's nobody in there. Bummer.

Wow thats no good at all. Hopefully she pulls around sometime soon, head things can be pretty unpredictable... in a coma or just out of it one day, and back like nothing the day later. I have honestly never heard any one use the term "bummer" when it comes to something this serious or bad. Normally Bummer is what I hear when someones car breaks down, or get a fender bender. :dome:

Hope she gets well soon!! Till then you got a whole lil army to keep track of, more power to ya!

Arcturius
02-18-2004, 06:57 PM
Congratulations on the baby! (she looks so tiny compared to my boys!)

Sorry to hear about your wife; here's to hoping for a speedy and full recovery.
*crosses fingers*

murray13
02-19-2004, 05:49 PM
Congrats, DAD!!!

Wish the best for your wife, hope she makes a full recovery!

Brians256
02-20-2004, 11:55 AM
Congrats, DAD!!!

Wish the best for your wife, hope she makes a full recovery!

Well, she might make a recovery but the neurologist doubts a complete recovery. She has has more bleeding and they have discovered that the cause is deep vein thrombosis (clots) that caused backpressure. Although she is unconcious, she was briefly conscious this morning because a nurse heard her say a word this morning. She is improving, thankfully. They give her a 50% chance of surviving. As they say, we'll see.

pHaestus
02-20-2004, 12:59 PM
Brian:

That is awful! Do you have people in your community and church that can give you some help in the short term? Is your work reasonably understanding? If you need help then please let me know and anything within my power I will do.

Brians256
02-20-2004, 10:21 PM
Well, the most likely possibilities are indeed aweful. But, I got my first sleep last night (hadn't been sleeping for about 4 days or maybe 5 days... can't remember), and I'm reminding myself that I should not focus on the bad. There is a chance, even if it is small, that Heather might survive and be mostly OK.

People in my church are great but about 70 minutes away (small church). So, for instance, the kids were with a church family for a couple of days but that meant that I didn't see them. I just spent time in a chair by Heather's bed. The friends even offered to help longer, but I know my kids need to see me too. I've had more offers for help than I ever suspected; Heather had a lot of friends and they aren't superficial like many people seem these days.

Thankfully, work is understanding, but even if they weren't, I have invoked the FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) which is a USA law that provides job safety for up to 12 weeks of leave in case of family medical emergency. I don't know how things will go, but I hope they stay understanding! This event and its consequences could go on for a long time.

Thank you so much for your thoughts, Derek. Right now, I just want Heather to be healthy and the way she was.

murray13
02-20-2004, 11:31 PM
Brian, you and Heather are in my prayers.

Yo-DUH_87
02-21-2004, 02:24 AM
Brian, you and Heather are in my prayers.

Same here.

How's the new addition, is she doing ok?

Brians256
02-21-2004, 09:08 AM
New baby is doing fine. ty

Mr. Thompson
02-24-2004, 05:57 PM
Brian - As Murray said, your family is in my family's prayers.

Colin

CCW
02-25-2004, 07:23 AM
Brian, my thought and prayers are with you and your family, sorry to hear of the bad news, but congradulations on the baby

UnloadeD
02-25-2004, 08:35 AM
Congrats on the healthy daughter and so sorry to hear about your wife's health. I don't have any kids yet, one reason is I'm afraid something like this might happen to my wife. You seem to be holding up much better than I would be in same situation. I found this thread from a link on OC's front page, I was expecting some kinda way to help out tangibly. FMLA eases the mind a bit knowing your job is secure, but it doesn't help out finacially. With all you've got going on I'd hate to see money worries added to the list. If you or another staff member would set up a paypal account I'd be willing to help and I'm sure others would too. Until I can do more, prayers go out to all of you.

peace.
unloaded

Spoon_04
02-25-2004, 08:56 AM
Brian, I just read this thread and my heart just went out to you and my prayers are with you, I hope with all my heart that your wife recovers.

Reccos
02-25-2004, 10:09 AM
I linked from over at the HardOCP... decided to register to let you know that I hope everything turns out ok with your wife and if not then know that you have a new addition to your family and that which is more important than subtractions... i mean every family has someone taken away eventually but not all of them get the joy of a new addition...

my analogy is a little abstract... sorry

my prayers are with you

Luke

HRPufnStuf
02-25-2004, 11:12 AM
Another new user.....from HardOCP.

Not very often I read things anywhere that make me get choked up the way this thread has.....guess just having a close wife and thinking of how this would really be is a bit overwhelming.

Brian - wish you and your wife and family the very best in the coming days/weeks/months. I hope she pulls through for you and the children.

Thoughts and prayers...

nino
02-25-2004, 11:40 AM
Hi Brian,
I found this by way of OC and my heart goes out to you and your family during these VERY difficult times. I can't believe how well you are coping.

When I first heard about the stroke I figured it was a stroke due to the high blood pressures created from normal birthing but then when I heard that it was a C-section and that the blood pressures shouldn't have been that high, nor should clots have formed (unless due to the surgery, medications, or anesthesia) I had to wonder who was responsible.

A C-section is VERY routine and the development of a blood clot at that young an age (provided she doesn't live a sedentary lifestyle) is rare. Blood clotting after surgery however is not rare if the meds aren't right and sometimes even if they are.

Anyhow, my prayers go out to you and yours and I hope that the hospital isn't culpable in some way.

EBFoxbat
02-25-2004, 11:48 AM
I linked to here from over at OverClockers.com and registered to say my prayers are with you. I'm sure many of us will try to keep up. Let us know if there is anything we can do.

Onlypro
02-25-2004, 11:57 AM
I sincerely hope everything works out for you in regard with your family's health.

Your family is in my prayers.

klod
02-25-2004, 11:57 AM
Brian,

I saw this at HardOCP and just wanted to tell you that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

tio
02-25-2004, 11:58 AM
linked from overclockers.com...

Brian, I don't know what to say. That's horrible to have to go through something like this. I can't begin to imagine what I'd do in your situation.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your wife, and your family. I wish you guys the very best of luck.

Good luck Brian.

Jim_2CPU
02-25-2004, 12:26 PM
You and your family will be in my prayers, Brian. I almost lost my fiance awhile back to a pulmonary embolism (blood clots) and your story really put a lump in my throat.

I really hope your wife gets better. All the best.

g.l.amour
02-25-2004, 12:58 PM
damn this sux, we see succesfull births allover so much that we might forget there is even a risk involved. for what it's worth, (i'm not the praying type) i wish your family the best of luck.

AdmiralTiger
02-25-2004, 01:06 PM
I'm just another wayward link-explorer from HardOCP.

Brian - First of all, congratulations on your fourth child (geez, anything more than 2 is way too much for me!) and best of wishes for her to have a long life ahead of her. I'm expecting my first child this August, so I haven't tasted childbirth just yet but I know how hard this will be, and I hope what happened to your wife doesn't affect my fiancee at all.

Second of all, I'm sorry to hear about your wife and both of us are praying for her to get better and that she makes a complete recovery. Right now she's in good hands either way and we all hope that she can make it through the difficult times ahead for both of you and your family. We also wish you the best of luck.

GruntmaN
02-25-2004, 01:17 PM
As a dad with a 14 month old and a 3 yr old, this thread sure made my eyes puffy. You and your family are in my prayers. I hope all goes well. Take it in stride and stay strong man. It's good to hear that your church and friends are there for you. Take advantage of it and turn to your friends for that comfortable shoulder. It's best to talk it out than tear yourself up worrying.

Congratulations on your adorable new addition.

OldGuy
02-25-2004, 01:45 PM
Just over from the OCP. I can't imagine what it must be like for you right now. It's good to hear that you've got a lot of help, that's priceless in times like this. My family and I will say a prayer for you and yours tonight.

I know money can't fix this problem, but it could help make some aspects of it easier. I encourage you (or someone close to you) to set up a Paypal donation fund. It would be the least I could do to send some cash your way to help pay a bill or just to take your kids out to dinner for a distraction. I'll be checking back on this thread over the next few days if you do get to setting something up.

OG

irf
02-25-2004, 01:45 PM
Shameless plug! I have a new daughter, Deborah Elease Smith, born 7:58am 2/12/04, weighing 5 lbs 11.4oz and stretching out to 18.5" in length.

Woot!

http://www.procooling.com/~brian/images/family_pics/debanddad.jpg

There's me with my "Family" sticker on the dress greens after the C-Section. I was told that is because they don't want to mistake me for a Doctor or Nurse, but I think it was to help the Dad's remember their place: spectator. Snip, zzzzt, blorp, and out she came with nothing for me to do but oggle at the sharp knives and stuff until Deborah came out and exhibited her amazingly effective lungs+vocal cords. Oh, yeah. I get to change diapers too.
Brian,
Just a little note to congratulate you on the new born, and to let
you know that all our prayers will be dedicated to wish the speedy recovery
of your wife Heather. You are not alone we are all behind you.
God Bless

IMOG
02-25-2004, 02:17 PM
Hey Brian, I don't know you personally but I heard about you over at OCForums. I wanted to congratulate you on the healthy daughter and let you know that my thoughts are with you and your wife. I wish for the best of outcomes for you, and that you keep your own strength also while you care for your family. It's hard when things go bad, but remember that if you keep taking from the well without adding anything to it, it will dry up - so try to take care of yourself also, to make sure you can still be there for your family. The better you take care of yourself the more ready you will be to be there for them.

My best wishes friend,
Matt

sandman
02-25-2004, 02:20 PM
Hey man, I'm not sure what to say that could make you feel any better.

I Just, hope your wife makes a complete recovery.

Gremlin
02-25-2004, 02:37 PM
Congrats to a new addition to your family. I wish the best for your family and praying for your wife's full recovery!

iamcj
02-25-2004, 02:42 PM
I just saw this on HardOCP.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your wife Brian. I wish for all the best.

Kid
02-25-2004, 03:18 PM
I also am from HardOCP.

I just wanted you to know that me and my bible study are praying for you and your wife. If we can help in any way let us know, Im sure that we would do almost anything to help you...

Capt. Nemo
02-25-2004, 03:25 PM
Hi there here from Overclockers.com, just heard about your wife .. my heart and my prayers are with you, good luck.. and congrats on your new one!

MgrMOOSe
02-25-2004, 03:44 PM
Hey, just saw this on HardOCP. Brian, my best wishes go out to you and yours. I'm not much of a baby person but you've got a gem there. I also hope that your wife pulls out of this situation fully healthy. I don't know you personnally but if there's anything I can do on my behalf consider it done.

BillA
02-25-2004, 04:10 PM
sorry to hear Brian (had not been following this thread)
hope things work out

Bill

thepunkerguy
02-25-2004, 04:21 PM
Yeah man, I am a youth leader at my church, I said a prayer for you and will get some other people to pray for you and your wife at youth tonight. God Bless man and I pray your wife pulls through this perfectly fine and healthy.
- Mike

thebeast
02-25-2004, 04:31 PM
I read about your circumstances on overclockers.com,but im a regular at HotHardware and registered here to wish you,your wife and kids,all the best. :)

Matt.

Brians256
02-25-2004, 04:41 PM
Wow. I didn't think anyone outside the ProCooling crowd would pick up on this. Thanks to all of you who are praying. MANY thanks.

Well, I am still in a state of mild shock from this whole stroke thing because who expects this at thirty? I have no idea how things are going to go from here, but I maybe I can help some of you out there: BE PREPARED. If you have a spouse, make sure to have an up to date will. Make sure that you have power of attorney in case your spouse is put down for the count. For instance, right now, I have no idea whether her signature is valid on some tax documents because I don't know if she's really competent to understand what she signed. But on the other hand, IRS gets really upset when you don't send things in.

Also, discuss what lengths you are willing to go to on revival. Are heroic measures OK? Don't get surprised by that question at (I think it was) 3:00am after not sleeping for four days.

It's surreal, let me tell you, and I'm still trying to adjust to the new reality. People offer to help by sending meals, and that helps... but who takes care of the kids for you? Who goes to work when you want to be with your wife at the hospital? I have mail to go through, bills to pay, housework to do, diapers to change, people to call, and I just want to crawl into a hole and then wake up with my wife being the same that she was. Ain't gonna happen. Thankfully, my church and my wife's friends are helping as they can, and it does help.

So, I just have to keep believing that all things will come to the greater good and some times are easier that others.

Anyway, I hope that helps someone out there that will go through something like this in the future. It happens, and you have to gut it out and keep moving. Don't ever do what I did and not sleep, though. If you have to ask for sleeping pills... DO IT. It doesn't help anyone if you aren't taking care of yourself.

Well, I guess that sounds really depressing, but there are good moments too. My wife is going into a rehab program that is supposed to help, and she can talk in sentences now even if she's easily confused. So, every day is better. Who knows how much better she'll get?

bmcv
02-25-2004, 04:51 PM
From me my family and friends i hope that your wife recovers and i will say a special prayer for her.

Brian

bgclOLDWARRIOR
02-25-2004, 05:07 PM
I linked from OC,my prayers are with you and your family,have an optimistic outlook and take care of the children they need you more than ever.

whymeintrouble
02-25-2004, 05:48 PM
from [H]ardOCP, I just wanted to tell you Brian, keep your faith. Faith in yourself, in your wife, in your family. It may not be like it once was, but it certainly can be just as good, if not better. My heart goes out to you, and your family. Don't be afraid to talk to someone, even if you think it is just babbling. Talking will help get you through the tough times... sometimes yelling and screaming too. And for those days when you are really feeling down or just bad, do me this favor. gather up all the kids, let them circle around you and give one giant group hug. Kids understand the need for love more than anyone else does. All who have posted here give you 100% support, and if there is something we can do, just name it. I wish you and your family the best of times to come, be patient, pray and be in the best spirits you can be.

many prayers to your family,

Scott

goatman
02-25-2004, 05:54 PM
This must be a very sad/confusing event to you.
I hope your wife will be ok. My prayers are with her. :)

JungleMan
02-25-2004, 06:05 PM
Brian...congrats on the new baby, and most of all, our best wishes are with your wife...we're all pushing for her recovery 100%!!

Good luck bro...

lidistick
02-25-2004, 06:08 PM
Hey there.. just saw the linky from Overclockers.com

congrats on the new addition to the family. give the little on a hug from NZ. :D

As for Heather, my thoughts and prayers are with her. She is young and will recover. Have faith. I'm a doc and I know docs are always pessimistic (its called not giving false hope) and are sometimes pretty horrible when they give prognosis. Things change.

Take care of yourself first ok. If you need anything, give a shout.

Cheers bro.

Zogthetroll
02-25-2004, 06:34 PM
wow, talk about an overwhelming response! brian, I just wanted to chime in and say that i'm praying for you and your family. thanks for the good advice about living wills and whatnot, just take things one day at a time. God bless.

raeksuk
02-25-2004, 06:52 PM
Linked in via xtremesystems and over-clock.co.uk, your plight has touched my heart and i would like to offer my prayers for you and your family. Hope improvements come quick and fast.

Prayer from all of us in the uk, keep the faith!

Falkentyne
02-25-2004, 07:31 PM
I'm really shocked at what happened, and I have said a prayer and I hope everything turns out well.

I hope that God has mercy on this woman and give her the ability to make it through this. He has the power. I just pray that he will care, for this one person, in a multitude of billions. Yes I realize there are many others going through even worse, far worse, in fact, but God's power is infinite. And it is written that those who call out the name of the Lord in reverence and need and worship, he will thus listen. So I pray that he will work a miracle and allow everything to be fine.

SniperXX
02-25-2004, 07:32 PM
I linked from OC (also a forum member there).

1st of all congrats on the baby. Im the 1st of 4 in my family, lol.

Im really sorry to hear about your wife. I will keep her and your family in my prayers. Keep strong and take care of yourself.

Bass
02-25-2004, 07:38 PM
I'm from Overclockers Australia... Me and many others here are wishing you and your wife the best. Hope all turns out well mate.

DickNervous
02-25-2004, 08:09 PM
I, along with one or two other names i recognized, am from GruntvillE, and wanted you to know that several of us have started a thread over there with more well wishes and prayers.

And congratulations on the new child, she is adorable. Hang in there and take care of yourself and the kids so that when Heather does recover, she has a clean house to come home to and no diaper rash!

And remember, there are lots of people out there praying for you guys.

dsumanik
02-25-2004, 08:34 PM
Hi there Brian, my name is DJ Sumanik, im from the yukon in canada (its next to alaska) and as hard as it is for you to believe I know what you are going through right now as I have lived it first hand.

My sister and I were in a bad car wreck and she suffered the same injury as your wife. She slipped into a coma shortly after for 8 days and when she came out she had lost all memory prior to the accident, speech capability, movement, and I know exactly what you mean by "no one being there". Those memories still frighten me to this day. It was a birth defect in her brain and the accident set it off, the blood vessel burst and the doctors said it would have likely occured to her even if we hadnt been in the accident, such as during childbirth, or any other sort of heavy traumatic shock or physical strain... So you are VERY right to be thankful it happened while she was in the hospital, as it could have happened while she was having a stressful day driving down the freeway with your kids in the car...

And dont necessarily believe this was from improper medication form the getgo, although all that stuff is pretty much irrellevant right now anyways. Stop asking why, and start looking at every availiable option in front of you to rectify the situation.

That all being said I want you to know my sister has made an EXCELLENT recovery considering the serious nature of this injury. We were on a highway in the middle of nowhere when it occured, and she went through the windshield to boot. I think if we had been closer to the hospital a full recovery likely would have been possible. Her right arm is still paralyzed, and she has some problems with memory, but other than that she is a very normal beautiful girl who is currently attending university and living with a great guy (one i finally approve of anyways) to become a special needs teacher to help people with disabilities like her own.

Being at her side is the best thing you can do for her because if she is going to be suffering any memory loss, having a familiar face like yours around when she first comes through can help jog those severed connections. To this day the only thing my sister can remember before the accident was me and her eating chocolates on easter, and i was the first face she saw when she came out of the coma.

Just have faith and dont let your hope slip away, my sister is living proof that an injury like this is NOT insurmountable.

i am not much of a person to truly follow any faith or religion completely and honestly, but if there is a god, or i higher power I can ask to grant you and your whole family to come out of this OK, i will.

If you set up a paypal account ill gladly donate what i can to help you with bills and food for your children, take care.

Bender
02-25-2004, 08:47 PM
Brian my prayers will be for you and your family. Please let us know how we can help you out.

~Bender

nater
02-25-2004, 08:53 PM
from 2cpu.com here... We are all wishing you the best and are praying for your wife...

Set up a paypal account, I am sure we can all throw what we can in.

dacooltech
02-25-2004, 09:12 PM
sorry had not been following this thread...

Congrats on the new baby and sorry to hear about your wife.

My son is 5 months old... and my mother, who is 70yrs old, had 2 strokes within the last few years ... She is not able to talk in full sentences and walk... but she's able to say a few words...
so I can say, have a pretty good idea about what you're going through right now... Your wife's young, and she's got all the good reasons to recover... 3 kids, a beautiful new born and a good husband... so I'm sure she's going to be just fine...

Brian, please feel free to let me know if there's anything I can do...

and I think a paypal account is a great idea too...

Bruce

rjenk
02-25-2004, 09:14 PM
Jumped in from HardOCP.

My heart goes out to you. I don't know what I would have done if I was in your situation when my wife gave birth to my son. So much joy yet sorrow.

Please keep the faith. You have many people that you have never met before that are praying for you and your family. Be strong, not only for your wife but for your little ones. Let the strength of others hold you up.

Thoughts and prayers from my family to yours.

Good luck.

princess
02-25-2004, 10:10 PM
I jumped over from 2CPU where I saw this story. I'm not the praying type, but my heart goes out to you and your family. My hope for a very speedy recovery! Congrats on the new addition!

dudeflex
02-25-2004, 10:12 PM
I am hoping the best for your wife, hope she will make a full recovery. And best wishes to your new daughter.

SOShootME
02-25-2004, 10:54 PM
Hey Brian,

I said a prayer for your wife tonight. I truly hope she will be able to make a full recovery.

Best wishes to you, your wife, and the rest of the family.

Jim Decker
aka SOShootME

Mr. Thompson
02-25-2004, 11:01 PM
Prayer is not a one shot deal. True prayer is praying with out ceasing. May God bless all of you who are praying for Brian, Heather and their family.

jtroutma
02-25-2004, 11:36 PM
Brian,

Its been a long time since I have been here; maybe too long....

I heard about your blessing and your misfortunes from OC.com and had to come back and give you my best wishes and hopes that your wife will recover fully.

I too am wanting to contribute to the paypal account so I hope that gets up and running soon...

I havent been praying lately myself but I think it is about time that I start again.

Best wishes to you and your family and do ever give up hope!

Jtroutman

gdmaddog
02-25-2004, 11:37 PM
Hey Brian,
Sorry to hear about your wife. I understand what you are going through. I nearly lost my son (11 yr old) in November. Spent 11 days in ICU with him in a strange city over 800 miles from home. It seems like the rest of the world is completely oblivious to your pain when this type of thing happens. Its quite surreal when you see the rest of the world going about its normal business when your world is crashing around you. To me it felt like living the "Matrix" in real life. Like I was the only one awake and everyone else was under its spell. No one can understand this kind of feeling until it happens to them. My son pulled through and is home now, though his condition will soon take his life. He is a trooper and a real computer geek. He plays games on his rig every day. Computers are his only joy anymore. Take care of yourself and your family. We are all here to help. This is a connected community and we can pull all kinds of strings to help those in distress. I hope and pray for you and yours.

DMOS
02-26-2004, 12:28 AM
Brian, my heart goes out to you and your family. Like you said, don't do harm to yourself, or you will be no good to those who also need you, namely your kids. Please set up a paypal account if you don't have one already, those of us in the community who can I'm sure will help.

Driver 7
02-26-2004, 03:59 AM
My heart goes out to you and your family Brian. Your Daughter is Beautiful.

BWX232
02-26-2004, 05:38 AM
I'm from NY, I heard about this from DriverHeaven. I hope everyhting works out for you and your family. We are all praying for a fast recovery. God bless.

wertret
02-26-2004, 05:56 AM
Hi Brian, i'm coming from Driverheaven, you and your wife are in my prayers, best wishes for your family.

FIRESTARR357
02-26-2004, 07:53 AM
Hey Brian, I'm from Overclockers.com. They posted a link to this thread. Man I am so happy for you on your daughter, and I am so sorry about your wife. My prayers are with you man. Stay strong for your wife and kids, all are prayers are with you.

Corax
02-26-2004, 07:56 AM
Hi Brian,

I don’t usually join forums, I don’t usually have the time to keep up with them, but I had to join when I saw your story.

To give you a little hope. I recently watched a program on Discover channel that had a segment with a woman who was a brain specialist at (if I remember right) Harvard Medical. She had a stroke, left hemisphere, and it took her nearly two hours to dial the phone to call her work for help. She said knew what was happening to her but some things, like dialing the phone, didn’t make sense to her. She couldn’t figure out what to do with the numbers. To make a long story short, she made an excellent recovery. They interviewed her and if you just met here on the street you would never know she had a stroke. The brain is an amazing thing, if connections are broken, it starts trying to rebuild those connection and bypass the damaged parts. The right half of her brain eventually took over the functions that were lost in the Left half. That’s not to say there weren’t consequences. She no longer practices medicine, her interests and talents now lie in the artistic side. She makes beautiful pictures of the brain in stained glass. She says her personality has changed some, she is much more artistic and less logical and regimented than she used to be. It was incredible to see her. She was obviously still very intelligent, and was very articulate. It was very interesting and can hopefully give you some hope of a recovery. If anyone can find a way to get it to you, or maybe you could find a transcript or something online the show was the series: Understanding, and was about the human brain.

Your wife has several things going for her.
1. She’s young, the connections are easier to rebuild in young people.
2. She’s female (women naturally use their brains more evenly on the two sides than men, so one side can more easily take up the slack if something goes wrong with the other.
3. She has a loving Husband and Family.
4. She has a new baby she wants to get to know.
5. The fact that she is already talking in complete sentences is a good sign.

Even if she can’t speak or doesn’t seem fully aware of what is going on, she may very well be fully aware, but be unable to express herself normally. Keep talking to her. Talk to her about the good times, funny stories about the kids, things you did when you were dating. Stimulate her brain to start making those new connections, and re-connect to the tings that weren’t damaged but were cut off when the cells around them were damaged. Don’t give up! If you have a bunch of home movies, show those to her, whatever you have to do to get the information flowing again.

Good luck,

You are in my thoughts… (why else would I be writing this at 5:00am)

tcsnxs
02-26-2004, 08:43 AM
Linked from HardOCP.

My father suffered two strokes inside of 24 hours, so I understand, somewhat, what you are going through. I do hope whatever Gods are listening give you and your own strength through this ordeal, the courage needed to go on, and will to see all this through.

As has already been stated, if you need anything, let us know. Setup a Paypal account and I'm sure most of us, including me, would donate.

Keep the faith and walk the path my friend.

Brians256
02-26-2004, 08:53 AM
You guys are amazing! I didn't think it would keep on going, but I'm really encouraged by all your prayers and posts. Thank you!

For all those who have said they would like to donate... I don't know what to say. I'm not trying to post to get money from people (that's not why I share with you all), but I certainly won't turn away any help. So, if Joe, pHaestus, or someone else posts something or sets something up.... that will satisfy my ethics. I never wanted to try to use this horrible event to "get something" from the community. Thanks to those of you who have snuck around and found out my paypal already! I have already gotten an idea from the doctors and insurance company that the bills are going to be fairly large, and it helps.

JCYC5
02-26-2004, 09:02 AM
Brian

I found the link to this thread from 3DGameMan, although I am a registered member here.

My deep thoughts and prayers go out to your wife. I pray to dear God that she will make a speedy full recovery...

I would happily make a donation, although I fear that it would not do so much... but nevertheless, I shall be watching this thread for a link to a PalPal account of some sort...

Again, my thoughts and prayers are with your wife...

LordVagabond
02-26-2004, 09:19 AM
Linked in from 3DGameMan.com forums, where I am a member. I'm also linking this thread to Lanageddon.com, where I am an active member.

I am not the religious type but I do wish you all the best and will keep you and your wife in my thoughts.

pHaestus
02-26-2004, 09:23 AM
Brian's paypal address is Brian_Smith@cmicro.com

I want to thank all of you and the websites from which you came to show support. Sometimes our community really comes together and makes me proud.

*GBG*uggbash
02-26-2004, 09:54 AM
I hope things will turn out well, my thought's are with you and your family. And i have done my own little praying, wishing you good things..

Regards,

Jakob

SpeeDj
02-26-2004, 10:03 AM
:(

Hey Brian I heard about this over at Overclockers forums as well, so on behalf of the staff there and the staff for Overclockedgamerz I wish you wife a full and speedy recovery and would also like to say she is in my prayers. I don't know if you are into country at all but this reminds me eerily of Tim McGraws - Don't take the girl :(

Our thoughts are with you and yours Brian may you stay strong for your wife and your children, if ever you need a shoulder mine as well as I am sure many others, is available no matter what.

J :cool:

Joe
02-26-2004, 10:12 AM
Ahh pH posted the linkage already in here, I will get something ont he front page tongiht for ya.


But yes the outpouring of wishes and support is really quite amazing. I thank everyone for pitching in when a fellow geek is having a something like this go on!

Ive posted this on the front page of MWL, and have personally thanked a couple webmasters who have posted this on their sites also. THANKS!

Xiliquiern
02-26-2004, 10:32 AM
I am here from OC forums as well...
I'm really sorry to hear about the complications...you are in my prayers. Hope things pick up soon.

KnightElite
02-26-2004, 11:19 AM
I'm amazed I hadn't read this thread yet. My sympathies are with you Brian. You seem to be holding out stoically, given the situation.

My thoughts are with you and your wife.

splashtech
02-26-2004, 11:22 AM
Linked in from 3DGameman too... remember, we are all with you on this, and wishing, hoping, praying for a recovery. Whatever happens, people are here for you. Always.

You all will be in my thoughts.

OldGuy
02-26-2004, 11:26 AM
I'm not trying to post to get money from people (that's not why I share with you all).........

It never even crossed my mind that you were looking for charity, and that's not what this is. Sending a little something to you is a way we can reach out across the miles and give you a pat on the back, just like we would do if you were standing right beside us. Prayers are great, and your getting a lot sent your way, but cold hard cash can take you and your kids out to dinner and provide some needed distraction. ;)

eire1274
02-26-2004, 11:53 AM
Brian, you have my deepest sympathies.

What you are going through is a terrible way to realise how much you love someone. Know that God does have a plan for every event, even though sometimes it feels otherwise.

I am 30 years old. Last July I was diagnosed with acute heart valve failure; for unknown reasons, my mitral valve had almost completely seperated from the cordae tendonae (the cordlike tissues that hold the valve closed when the heart beats), and I was living on (and had been for some time) less than 20% blood flow. There is no sign of heart disease or any degenerative illness in me, and my family history of heart problems does not go beyond mild valve prolapse (a condition which can cause a murmur but generally causes no health problems at all). I had open heart surgery to remove my damaged valve and implant an artificial valve in August. I am still recovering from this, and have recently lost my job as a result of too much time off (unfortunately, FMLA does not cover you unless you have been employed for one year or more, and I had started a new job only 2 months before being diagnosed).

In October, exactly 2 months after my surgery, my third child (first daughter) was born by emergency C-Section. Fortunately, all went well there. However, due of course to the nature of C-Sections, my wife and I were now both not working.

I have chosen to take these events in our collective life as an opportunity to grow spiritually. I have been given a second life, as it were, where some others are not. It is therefore my responsibility to channel my efforts to aid whenever and where ever I can. I have nothing monetary I can give you, but I can pray.

My children, and my wife and I will pray for both you and your wife today, and whenever we have opportunity. I will not pray for your wife's recovery, because that may not be God's will. I will instead pray that God's plan for you and your wife be exectued in the most merciful fashion, that His will grants you the strength to hold on to your family in this time of trouble, that His will saves your wife from any unnecessary suffering and gives her peace, no matter the outcome.

I do not know what your religious beliefs are, and I hope you are not offended by mine. I am Roman Catholic, as is my entire family. I will be contacting my Grandmother, who belongs to a prayer group, to organize a novena (9 days of the Holy Rosary) to be prayed for you and your wife.

My prayers and best hopes to you.

Nick McDermott

scopEDog
02-26-2004, 12:06 PM
Brian,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

-Eddie

murray13
02-26-2004, 12:53 PM
Brian, you will see a little something in your Ppal acct. Like someone said, you can use it to go out to dinner during all of this. Or the thought I had was to start a college fund for little Deborah Elease. That way you feel good about accepting it. And you can tell Deborah the whole story about how her college fund got started.

Just a thought.

Either way, we're all here for you in our hearts and prayers.

Roger_Smith
02-26-2004, 01:46 PM
I followed the link at 3dgameman.com forums and read this thread.

You and your family are in my prayers and I hope that everything does turn out well for your wife.

Puzzdre
02-26-2004, 03:58 PM
I usually try really hard to think positive, so I'm gonna congratulate you on a newborn first,
and, hope that your wife will get better soon. Just be there for her.

Keep the spirit as much as you can, hope that all of these posts can give you some too.

I wish you two (or better, six) all the best and to be together again very very soon.

frozbyte
02-26-2004, 04:06 PM
I am linking in from Overclockers.com. I am really sorry to hear about your wife's condition.

I have personally just started drinking Noni juice and have heard of many different uses that it has been successful put into. I hope you can check out the 2 sites as follow:

1) http://www.incc.org/sfs/testimonials/category_63.htm

2) http://www.tahitiannoni.com/us/us_index.htm

The first site lists some testimonials from stroke patients while the second shows the best product in this category.

I am not trying to sell you anything, just offering a suggestion...

Incoherent
02-26-2004, 05:04 PM
I have not been monitoring the thread at all until today. I am very sorry to hear of your situation Brian, it is impossible to understand what you are going through except to imagine I was in your shoes, not easy. At all.
Warmest congratulations for the birth of your daughter, hoping sincerely her mother makes a (full) recovery.

Jonathan Walford

JayTeague
02-26-2004, 06:07 PM
Brian,

My congradulations on your new child, and my deepest wishes that your wife has a complete and speedy recovery.

Jay

gmanpsycho
02-26-2004, 06:12 PM
Linked over from Overclockers.com and thought I'd join in to say my thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife. May GOD richly bless and strengthen you. Ihope you don't mind references to the Bible. Isaiah 53 (the whole chapter), Phillipians 4:13.

jaydee
02-26-2004, 06:34 PM
Man, I been gone for a while and didn't pickup on this. Sorry to hear about the wife. If the mother of my daughter had problems it would be difficult, not sure what I would do. I hope things work out for the better for you, your daughter, and your wife. Good luck and keep positive!

Brians256
02-26-2004, 06:47 PM
eire1274, I think you hit my beliefs fairly well. I have no idea what will come, but I believe in the eventual good that God will bring.

przero
02-26-2004, 07:37 PM
I don't know anything about you other than what I read in this
thread. I was linked from a site I really enjoy(Overclockers.com)
and they had an article about your family. you guys are in my prayers
and I'll monitor this thread for the outcome. Maybe this will help:
Mark 10:46-52. God Bless you and yours!

silverarrow974
02-26-2004, 09:58 PM
Hello Brian, just linked from OC. I admire the coolness with which you wrote your messages. What's happening here leaves me speechless. Congratulation for your new daughter. My positive thoughts and prayers for a fast and complete recovery for your wife.

Brians256
02-26-2004, 11:31 PM
I just got the kids put down and I got a chance to read some of this stuff, and I'm still feeling overwhelmed at the response of all you fellow geeks out there.

I got Heather transferred to a rehabilitation center today called RIO (Rehabilitation Institute of Oregon) which is supposed to be good (anyone know how to do comparison shopping on rehab centers?). It is supposed to be an intense rehab course with 7 days a week of about 5 hours of therapy per day (which is probably pushing Heather to the max, since she is asleep so much during the day).

She fell asleep during the admittance interview, but the nurse says that happens a lot with stroke patients since the brain is trying to shut down and heal itself. I think she is doing very well with the physical side of recovery (she can walk with assistance!), but she's not progressing as well with other stuff (her saying that a nurse was her mother-in-law, for instance, was a big warning flag for the admit nurse). Right now, I'm most worried that she doesn't seem to have any emotions/initiative/personality. Hopefully that will come back as well.

So, thank you all for your help and prayers! I'm trying to spend as much time as possible with her rehab sessions and then back home with the kids. Work has been amazingly understanding with my wish to be with my wife as much as possible, and your help has really made it easier.

God bless you all for helping.

Brians256
02-26-2004, 11:52 PM
Linked over from Overclockers.com and thought I'd join in to say my thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife. May GOD richly bless and strengthen you. Ihope you don't mind references to the Bible. Isaiah 53 (the whole chapter), Phillipians 4:13.

Nope. Don't mind. This thread probably made it clear that I'm a Christian. :D But, I hope that this thread doesn't get side-tracked by people who want to debate differing religious views, though. I like a good debate, since an honest debate usually leads both sides to more understanding. But, I don't have the time right now to moderate out the stupid flames that inevitably result. Besides, it probably belongs in this (http://forums.procooling.com/vbb/showthread.php?t=6594) thread, not here.

Aardil
02-26-2004, 11:53 PM
Brian
................................... I dont have the words

If you need ANYTHING, you know how to reach me.

Aardil

johan851
02-27-2004, 12:51 AM
Brian - I'm over here from the OC Forums after hearing about what happened. Just wanted to let you know that I can't get your situation out of my head for some reason, and that I'm praying for you.

Psalm 23, as cliche as it is at times, always helps me fall asleep. :)

-Eric

*GBG*uggbash
02-27-2004, 04:09 AM
I’m sure the Doctors do a great job. But I would check if they give here some "brain fat" EPA and DHA. Since the brain consists to a large part of those fats, it seams logical that it would be a good thing to give the brain a good supply of those building blocks. A good brand is EYEQ, there have been many studies lately involving giving four parts EPA and one part DHA, it helps the brains of mentally ill to recover and it helps the brain of ADHA children, reducing their symptoms. (all showed in serious studies carried out by medics)

Ask the doctors, right now there is a school testing it, http://www.durhamtrial.org/, check the results they have had so far, there is a boy with dyslexia improving his writing enormously… check this before and after picture out.


http://www.ketsugo.se/joe1.gif

After 3 months..
http://www.ketsugo.se/joe2.gif

I believe in this stuff, I take it for my depressions (just started) and perhaps it would help your wife.

;Edit those fats, are called OMEGA-3, what's new is the 4 EPA 1 DHA ratio, and that they have done some serious studies on it, proving this old fish-oil treatment very healthy.

MMZ_TimeLord
02-27-2004, 09:59 AM
My wife and I have added you to my mother's "prayer circle". We hope she recovers and will be back home soon.

The baby looks beautiful and healthy. Congrats!

jss0134
02-27-2004, 10:00 AM
Brian,

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. This has hit home with me also as I have 2 beautiful boys, one 15 weeks old, and the other 28 months old. If something was to happen to my wife, I would not know how to handle it, but you seem to be handling this situation very well.

To end on a positive note: Congratulations with your new addition. She will be bring much joy to your life. :D

mrmagoo_83
02-27-2004, 10:21 AM
Read about his on the front page of HardOCP.

I wish you and your wife the best. I have been married for nearly 3 months now, and last night I accidentily broke my wifes nose, and I am distraught, I hate seeing her in pain, especially when there is nothing I can do about it. I don't know how I could ever handle what you are going through. I know she means the world to me, and I know yours means the same.

All our prayers are with you and your wife.

Kerbie
02-27-2004, 10:31 AM
Brian,

I don't even know how to begin. I'm so terribly sorry that this happened to you. I feel for you man.
This past decemeber (29th) my mom, a 42 yr old healthy woman, suddenly had a stroke. It happened just after she moved back in with me and my brother. We had been living with our dad and she had been living alone for the past 4 years. Anyway, i know exactly what you mean by "no one there". I looked at my mom in the hospital and she couldnt say a word. She could barely move her arm. It was probably the most terrifying thing i have ever experienced.
I'm happy to say that she has made a tremendous recovery. Her speach is pretty much back to normal. She has her motor skills back and the majority of her memory. She still sometimes mixes up our names, but i can live with that.
I wish nothing but the best for you buddy. I'm not the praying type, but i'm gonna hope to god anyway that your wife makes a speedy recovery!

A little bit of advice, make her laugh! And I'm very serious about that. You mentioned that she "doesn't seem to have any emotions/initiative/personality", well laughter will cure at least one of those. I stongly believe that my mom made a speedy recovery because she had the ability to laugh. Whenever she got frustrated about not being able to do something. instead of giving up, or getting mad, she laughed at it. When your wife starts doing that, then you know she's on the track to recovery.

Kevin Carbotte,
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.

Brians256
02-27-2004, 10:40 AM
As I've been telling people, she could recover a lot, we just don't know. Also, we need to remember that though this is bad, there are people out there who had much worse things happen to them. I got an email from a nice guy who was in a coma for 18 weeks and the ER docs told his mom "it is OK to grieve now". He's looking forward to being able to do simple tasks like bathe himself, and having a great attitude about it! Get this: he wrote to encourage ME. That's courage.

birdman_icky
02-27-2004, 10:45 AM
Brian,

I'm IT person at a company that has a lot of older motherly women. When I told some of them about what happened, their heart's sank. They all give their sypathies to you. I had a friend who had a stoke a few years back, but he made what seems to me as a full recovery minus most of the use of his right hand. I know you must be going through h@ll and back, and none of us could really understand what you must be going through, but we can give you our support. How is your kids handling all this, are they taking well?

Brian, everything will get better, it just takes time, I'm sure you know that already, but if you ever need support, you know you can find it online in forums from us.

Eric D.

Gman
02-27-2004, 10:57 AM
The staff and members of Computing On Demand would like to offer our prayers for your wife's speedy recovery. At the same time, we would like to congratulate you on your newest family member. It's terrible that this joyous event had to coincide with such a disheartening one. As was mentioned in another post, it gladdens my heart to see such an outpouring from the virtual community. We will keep you in our prayers and thoughts.

Bruceleeon
02-27-2004, 11:08 AM
Bruceleeon - admin - COD

Gman, thanks for telling me

I don't know what i can say or do to help, I have no idea what it must feel like being in your shoes right now, but i can say this. CONGRATULATIONS on your baby... Mine = 15 mos ONLY 1 child for me though. He is a maniac. Diapers - YUCK!! I never knew something so small can make a stentch so gross. It is quite an experience though, the first time they take their steps, the first words... you get to relive it for the 4th time. Good luck in everything... and keep us posted please.

Cairenn
02-27-2004, 12:58 PM
Brian, you wouldn't believe how far this heartrending story has spread. I'm linked here via a message on my EverQuest Guild Board.

It's not completely comparable, but ... my paternal Grandfather had a stroke in his 80's. While he lost a lot of mobility, his personality, his sense of self and family, it all came back. I know from reading your posts that that is one of your main concerns, that she doesn't remember her family.

Hang in there. My prayers are with you and your family. And congratulations on the new wonderful little bundle of joy.

darkmiasma
02-27-2004, 12:59 PM
I'm linked from HardOCP as well ...

Congratulations on your daughter, and I wish you, your wife, and your kids the best ... I will add your family to my prayers tonight.

RagingSamster
02-27-2004, 01:15 PM
Howdy Brian, sending prayers from over @ [H]ardOCP. God works miracles! you have a lot of folks praying for you and your family. I'm glad you have close folks around to support you, don't hesitate to use them, they get far more from it than you realize (funny how that works out!) Again best wishes, and continued prayers coming your way!

IronChefMoto
02-27-2004, 01:16 PM
Hi, Brian,

I picked up on this story from the [H] a day or two ago. Just this afternoon I contributed to the [H] raffle in your honor. I hope my meager contribution can help you take your 4 kids out for McDonald's or buy some flowers for your wife. Something to keep yours and your family's mind off what may be troubling times ahead.

As the brother of a kid who has grown up with debilitating spina bifida, another neurological disease/condition, I can only give you the following advice -- take each day one at a time, and remember that, regardless of mental state or physical ability, the person you know as your wife is still there. And she will still give you the joy and laughter that she did before the stroke. My brother still does, and he's been through 22 years of ups and downs with his condition.

And laughter is key. If you can get her to laugh, you'll feel a helluva lot better. So will your kids. I know that, when I was 7 or 8 and my brother had been born, I felt most connected to him the day I got him to laugh in his crib. He felt to me, for the first time since his birth, like a little brother.

Tell your wife the worst joke that you can think of. Whatever can make her laugh. Trust me.

Take care, God bless, and keep the thread alive as best as you can.

IronChefMorimoto

nater
02-27-2004, 01:28 PM
I am sure everyone has seen this, but just to make sure, the [H]ardOCP raffle for brian...
http://hypothermia.gamershardware.com/

Cage
02-27-2004, 01:35 PM
Hiya Brian,

I'm here via [H]ardOCP.

My prayers go out to you and your family. May God's love embrace your family, and may He give you the courage and strength to meet the challenges ahead. You are never alone.

bat
02-27-2004, 01:39 PM
A little think from another part of the world (France), I hope everything will get better soon. It is pretty interesting to see what the word "community" mean, that is what is happening here. Bye.
Bat.

macklin01
02-27-2004, 01:59 PM
Brian,

I just wanted to register to send you a quick note of encouragement. I've been reading this thread since some of the seniors at the overclockers forums brought it to our attention earlier this week but hadn't had the chance to register as yet.

Please know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of many (including mine). Your demonstrated strength is a shining testament to your character, and it impresses the heck out of me. Godspeed to Heather's recovery, and God's blessing to you and your children! -- Paul

RiPpLeeFFecT
02-27-2004, 02:32 PM
I drifted over here from HardOCP and FrostyTech.

I put in for the Raffle for your family's benfit, however, I also felt compassion for your situation and just sent some directly to you too.

Money is tight now, but I know you can use it better than I.

My unceasing prayer is with you and your family

I'm starting a family this year (getting married in July...Just purchased my first house this month) and I can not even begin to imagine the difficultly you feel. Stay strong.

Jason Bair
Palmdale, CA

eroder
02-27-2004, 03:20 PM
Strength
planetmars.co.za
South Africa

Jabo
02-27-2004, 03:57 PM
Brian, congratulations mate, beautiful little princess was born I can see!
I am sorry to hear your better part is going over rough patch.
My sons birht was very traumatic for both my wife and him, I was there for 20 hours beside her and I can tell you that was the most universe shaking experience of my life, nothing seemed to be the same any more (in good way and in very little not so good way ;) ).

About hommeaoraging, my uni girl firend had a massive car accident while going skiing. She hit door post safety belt mounting with the side of her head (the most vulnerable place). She was in coma for over 3 months and was given no chances of recovery. After two years she came back to finish her degree....

Have faith man, we are with you, she will be all right.
My whole family are doctors and I am quite versed with medical stuff.
Try to get an outside consultant to look into your wife's case if possible. It is alwyas good to have more than one opinion in any all cases.

I have nothing to donate but will contribute in other way.


Kepp your spiits up and rally your family to help you :)

Best wishes again!

Yelo
02-27-2004, 04:49 PM
Saw this on overclockers.com.....

Good luck Brian, my heart goes out out you and your family in a HUGE way !!, I hope everything works out for the best

Good Luck

nikhsub1
02-27-2004, 05:34 PM
Brian I can only echo what has already been said... Be strong for your family and congrats on the baby!

BaconGrease
02-27-2004, 06:31 PM
[QUOTE=Brians256] (anyone know how to do comparison shopping on rehab centers?).
[QUOTE]

I'm a rehab doctor, feel free to email me or PM me with any questions.

AStar617
02-27-2004, 07:00 PM
Spotted this on 2CPU... best wishes to you and yours at this trying time in your lives.

shanenine
02-27-2004, 07:36 PM
I was looking for info on fanless power supplies, followed a link to http://3rotor.homelinux.com/ and saw a link to your post. After reading through the thread I had to register to wish you well.

I don't pray, but you can bet your ass you'll be in my thoughts. Maybe it will help a little bit to know that some guy in MD is wishing good things for you.

Joe
02-27-2004, 08:16 PM
Wow, I just checked hypothermia's site the Raffle is already closed for it! Thats damn cool to see that many people getting in on it that fast!

DaveMode
02-27-2004, 08:51 PM
Well, I felt I had to register and add to the growing support. I was linked from overclockers.com. My wife is pregnant and it's our first child. We're both nervous about everything and I guess this thread really hits home for us. I wish you both the best.

Blackeagle
02-27-2004, 11:34 PM
Brian my heart goes out to you man, hang in there.

I'm shocked I hadn't caught this thread before this. Congrats on the new daughter, I have two of those myself although my youngest is now 17.

My heart goes out to you and your wife. I'd be hard hit if such happened to my wife. I hope she makes a strong recovery. Just don't know what else to say.........

Craig

BartholemewH
02-28-2004, 12:21 AM
Congratulations on your daughters arrival Brian!!!

I am dropping in from the Overclockers Australia. Very sorry to hear about the situation faced by you and your wife...

I know to an extent how you are feeling... A friend of mine last week had a car accident. While in hospital on the machines, his brain activity diminished and he died 3 days later, one day before his 21st birthday....

But your wife is already doing MUCH MUCH better! So take heart!

It seems that you are staying very strong for your children, I can't help but admire your courage!

Just one of the thousands in the Hardware/overclocking/gaming community that is thinking of you and your family...

BartholemewH.

SilversinkSam
02-28-2004, 01:19 AM
Brian,

Congratulations on the baby!

Hang tough and know allot of us out there are pulling for you. Keep the faith and try to remain strong. I will pray for a speedy recovery of your wife.

Silversinksam

SiliconAngel
02-28-2004, 02:50 AM
Hi Brian,

I'm here from Perth, Western Australia, linked by overclockers.com.au. Congratulations on the birth of Deborah - I'm glad she's healthy and well. I just read this entire thread, and its amazing how supportive people can be when someone needs help. Kudos to everyone who has posted here - you're all wonderful people.

Brian, if you lived within driving distance I would put my life on hold for a few weeks and come and help you in any way I could. Unfortunately I don't have a passport atm, so flying there is out of the question. I will be depositing in your paypal account - you need the money more than I do at the moment. You seem like a really nice guy, and its horrible when nice people have bad things happen to them.

If I can make a suggestion, when this is all over, write a book about it. Just whatever you can remember, a few pages at a time. When you've finished it, find a publisher. Nothing touches people more strongly than a true story. Its something you can do while being with your wife and kids at the same time (when she comes home) and gives people some understanding about what its like if something like that happens to them. It also shows people how strong a community we have here in this virtual world. I'll buy a hundred copies, and I'm sure you will get sales from everyone in enthusiast communities all over the 'net.

You may not like the idea - its just a suggestion, and if one day you put virtual pen to paper, fantastic. If its never your gig, forgeddaboudid. I wish you all the best, my thoughts are with you and those of everyone I speak to. I hope your wife has a speedy recovery - I know many people who have had strokes who are all 100% now, so hopefully in the next couple of months it'll all be an unpleasant memory and you and your wife can share in the joy of your new baby girl :-)

God bless, and may you smash life's curve ball for a sensational home run!

animphette
02-28-2004, 04:24 AM
hi brian,
i got this link off a website i am a member of called anywebcam.com. we are a great cammunity that post on the message board regularly. what touched me enough to make me join this site was to send you this. Read it to heather, during therapy and whenever you have time alone with her. you stated its like she wasnt there. She is she just needs to take it easy one day at a time. I really wish you all the best. If i could come to your rescue i would . it sounds like your horrible event brought people together from all over the world.
Dont give up. and I hope the message I am sending helps both of you....all my love andrea


A Letter From Your Brain

Hello,

I'm glad to see that you are awake! This is your brain talking. I had to find some way to communicate with you. I feel like I barely survived WWIII and am still not quite all in one piece. That's why I need you. I need you to take care of me.

As time passes and you and I feel better and better, people, even doctors, will tell you that we are fine, "it's time to get on with life." That sounds good to me and probably even better to you. But before you go rushing back out into that big wide world, I need you to listen to me, really listen. Don't shut me out. Don't tune me out. When I'm getting into trouble I'll need your help more than I ever have before.

I know that you want to believe that we are going to be the same. I'll do my best to make that happen. The problem is that too many people in our situation get impatient and try to rush the healing process; or when their brains can't fully recover they deny it and, instead of adapting, they force their brains to function in ways they are no longer able too. Some people even push their brains until they seize, and worse... I'm scared. I'm afraid that you will do that to me. If you don't accept me I am lost. We both will be lost.

How can I tell you how much I need you now? I need you to accept me as I am today... not for what I used to be, or what I might be in the future. So many people are so busy looking at what their brains used to do, as if past accomplishments were a magical yardstick to measure present success or failures, that they fail to see how far their brains have come. It's as if here is shame, or guilt, in being injured. Silly, huh?

Please don't be embarrassed or feel guilt, or shame, because of me. We are okay. We have made it this far. If you work with me we can make it even further. I can't say how far. I won't make any false promises. I can only promise you this, that I will do my best.

What I need you to do is this: because neither of us knows how badly I've been hurt (things are still a little foggy for me), or how much I will recover, or how quickly, please go s-l-o-w-l-y when you start back trying to resume your life. If I give you a headache, or make you sick to your stomach, or make you unusually irritable, or confused, or disoriented, or afraid, or make you feel that you are overdoing it, I'm trying to get your attention in the only way I can. Stop and listen to me.

I get exhausted easily since being hurt, and cannot succeed when overworked. I want to succeed as much as you do. I want to be as well as I can be, but I need to do it at a different pace than I could before I got hurt. Help me to help us by paying attention and heeding the messages I send to you.

I will do my part to do my very best to get us back on our feet. I am a little worried though that if I am not exactly the same... you will reject me and may even want to kill us. Other people have wanted to kill their brains, and some people have succeeded. I don't want to die, and I don't want you to die.

I want us to live, and breath and be, even if being is not the same as it was. Different may be better. It may be harder too, but I don't want you to give up. Don't give up on me. Don't give up on yourself. Our time here isn't through yet. There are things that I want to do and I want to try, even if trying has to be done in a different way. It isn't easy. I have to work very hard, much harder, and I know that you do too. I see people scoff, and misunderstand. I don't care. What I do care about is that you understand how hard I am working and how much I want to be as good as I can be, but I need you to take good care of us, as well as you can do that.

Don't be ashamed of me. We are alive. We are still here. I want the chance to try to show you what we are made of. I want to show you the things that are really important in life. We have been given another chance to be better, to learn what is really important. When it is finally time for our final exit I would like to look back and feel good about what we made of us and out of everything that made up our life, including this injury. I cannot do it without you. I cannot do it if you hate me for the way being injured has affected me and our life together. Please try not to be bitter in grief. That would crush me.

Please don't reject me. There is little I can do without you, without your determination to not give up. Take good care of us and of yourself. I need you very much, especially now.

Love,
your wounded brain

nexxo
02-28-2004, 09:16 AM
Just a brief post of support... Dealing with brain injury is difficult at the best of times, but particularly so when you have a new baby to look after as well! I hope your wife will make a good recovery. In fact, as a neuropsychologist working on a brain injury rehabilitation ward (in- and out-patient), I can tell you that these things always look a lot worse in the beginning than they tend to pan out in the long term. Give it time; progress is always slow in the first months.

From what little you mentioned in the forum I cannot form a very detailed picture, and I'm sure you've been explained all this much better in Hospital by the experts who are treating your wife, but just for what it's worth:

The basal ganglia are involved in automatic motor processes, memory, habitual behaviour, drives and basic emotion. The right basal ganglia specifically regulate motor movement in the left part of the body. A bleed in that region tends to affect these functions primarily. The right hypocampus (predominantly visual memory) can be affected as well, and also the visual pathways running past that region, resulting in some loss of left visual field. It is therefore best to sit at your wife's bed on her right side.

On the up-side, if the injury is limited to the basal ganglia, higher cognitive processes should stay unaffected so although your wife will be pretty groggy and disoriented right now, in the long term she should not suffer personality change or significant change in intellectual ability. She may be a bit slower, and left with some memory problems (easily compensated for) and at first, some initiation problems (finding it hard to start actions). She will be very tired a lot. She will probably have some left motor problems, in walking and balance, as well as co-ordinated movement of left arm and leg, but physiotherapy can improve this considerably. Language again will be fine, so although I know I don't have to tell you to keep talking to her, take heart in knowing that at some level she can hear and understand you. Her speech may be affected by left sided motor problems however, so her speech may be slurred at first.

Her brain stem (life-support systems) should stay unaffected, and I imagine doctors will be keeping a close eye on any swelling of the site of injury, so it doesn't press down on the brain-stem structures. This tends to be the main focus of acute management, and they're pretty good at it. Your wife's unconsciousness is, in a way, the brain's way of protecting itself from further damage by lowering its metabolic needs.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I know all you can do is wait, and powerlessness is a terrible thing to feel. But for what it's worth, I'm optimistic about this one. Take care of yourself.

Brians256
02-28-2004, 09:41 AM
Just a brief post of support... Dealing with brain injury is difficult at the best of times, but particularly so when you have a new baby to look after as well! I hope your wife will make a good recovery. In fact, as a neuropsychologist working on a brain injury rehabilitation ward (in- and out-patient), I can tell you that these things always look a lot worse in the beginning than they tend to pan out in the long term. Give it time; progress is always slow in the first months.

From what little you mentioned in the forum I cannot form a very detailed picture, and I'm sure you've been explained all this much better in Hospital by the experts who are treating your wife, but just for what it's worth:

The basal ganglia are involved in automatic motor processes, memory, habitual behaviour, drives and basic emotion. The right basal ganglia specifically regulate motor movement in the left part of the body. A bleed in that region tends to affect these functions primarily. The right hypocampus (predominantly visual memory) can be affected as well, and also the visual pathways running past that region, resulting in some loss of left visual field. It is therefore best to sit at your wife's bed on her right side.

On the up-side, if the injury is limited to the basal ganglia, higher cognitive processes should stay unaffected so although your wife will be pretty groggy and disoriented right now, in the long term she should not suffer personality change or significant change in intellectual ability. She may be a bit slower, and left with some memory problems (easily compensated for) and at first, some initiation problems (finding it hard to start actions). She will be very tired a lot. She will probably have some left motor problems, in walking and balance, as well as co-ordinated movement of left arm and leg, but physiotherapy can improve this considerably. Language again will be fine, so although I know I don't have to tell you to keep talking to her, take heart in knowing that at some level she can hear and understand you. Her speech may be affected by left sided motor problems however, so her speech may be slurred at first.

Her brain stem (life-support systems) should stay unaffected, and I imagine doctors will be keeping a close eye on any swelling of the site of injury, so it doesn't press down on the brain-stem structures. This tends to be the main focus of acute management, and they're pretty good at it. Your wife's unconsciousness is, in a way, the brain's way of protecting itself from further damage by lowering its metabolic needs.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I know all you can do is wait, and powerlessness is a terrible thing to feel. But for what it's worth, I'm optimistic about this one. Take care of yourself.

Wow! Why can't the doctors that I have make things this clear? I have dealt with three or four neurologists (no neuropsychologists yet), and none of them told me what the basal ganglia primarily control or what kinds of things to look out for long-term. All they tell me is that they don't know how much she'll recover and to wait.

Unfortunately, she has had two hemmorages (one about the size of a silver dollar in right basal ganglia and one in the left that is twice the size) caused (they think) by an initial thrombosis in the inferior sagital (spelling?) sinus vein that they missed in the first MRV. They only caught it four days after the first stroke in a cerebral angiogram. I can't help but think that if they had not misunderstood the first stroke as a reaction to Reglan or that if they had caught the thrombosis on the second day, that things might be better. They might not have tried clotting therapies like platelets and cryofactor and they might have gotten her on a blood thinner on the FIRST day so that the second stroke wouldn't have happened. I don't think that's malpractice (and I really HATE people that sue over simple mistakes), but I'm still frustrated.

Oh well. Done is done. At this point, I just want my wife to recover. I hope that swelling caused by those hemmorages goes down as they are absorbed and she recovers some of her emotions and initiative. It really hurts to see her so .... flat. Nothing makes her happy or sad. Language is coming back but still includes some things like saying "Crystal Corn Flakes" instead of "Kellog Corn Flakes". Memory isn't good, as you noted, and she had difficulty yesterday with the idea that her mom (dead 16 years) didn't need a sweater.

Physically, she is doing much better. I got to help her walk down a hallway yesterday.

thepunkerguy
02-28-2004, 10:57 AM
While she still has a long ways to go, i am glad that she is sarting to get better.. thanks for keeping us informed! I'll keep her in my prayers!
- Mike

zeroSignal
02-28-2004, 12:00 PM
Congratulations on the new baby, all the best to her.

I'm very sorry to hear about your wife. I got here through [H]ard|OCP and the story really shook me up.

Be strong, stand by your children and your wife.

zS

Skopje, Macedonia

Kerbie
02-28-2004, 12:44 PM
It's good to hear that she is talking at least. When she's saying crystal corn flakes, thats a good sign. It may be hard to understand, but she's puting in the effort.
Another bit of advice that proved very helpful for my mom, would be to get her to try to write words that she can't pronounce. She may not be at that stage yet, but she will.
Also, i was told by our doctors that if she's haveing trouble saying words, don't fill in the blanks for her. Get her to think about it. No matter how much she's struggling. Her brain will never teach itself it your doing all the thinking.

The way that i was explained what was happening inside her head was this:
her brain has been damaged, similar to if say a road was blocked off construction. her brain has to find a way around, only permanently. It takes a long time for this to happen, but your wife is young, and has a wonderful family to live for. If she can still remember that, then she will pull through. I'm sure of it.
I wish you the best Brian.

Jabo
02-28-2004, 02:41 PM
Wow, that's quite quick improvement imho.
I strongly belive she is going to be all right and will make 100% recovery.
Despite all the medical sciences advancements and almost magical (to layman) technology used nowdays they in reality know nothing more than 100 years ago (when you are doctor with almost 40 years of experience like my father you get extremely humble and start to go to church much more often then you used to...)
I heard of brain damage cases beyond human understanding and beyond any hope making full recovery (I had quite unpleasant encounter with four pissed-off-bald-headed killers once and spend two weeks on neurology ward with over 1 cm brain swelling and unrecognizeable facial features, I am at high risk of stroke all the time and have some nasty scarring on brain tissue but I am fine, well according to some people at least ;) )
.... Medicine know very little about human brain and some specialists are of opinion that it has unbelievalbe redundancy and self repair abilities.
I think it is extremely important now to find a balance between necessary stimulation given to your wife's brian and tireness and stress caused by it.
I can still see my uni friend laying on her hospital bed like vegeatable week after week groving thinner and thinner and then, two years later she was like new, graduating with degree from the uni.

Heads up, she will be fine!

WiLieR[SS]
02-28-2004, 03:23 PM
Brian,
First I would like to say Congrats on the new addition to the family! Children are a wonderful part of life and are our most precious commodity in this world.

I would also like to send my sincerest best wishes for your wife and your family. My family will have you and your family in our prayers and thoughts throughout the day. I have had two family members suffer strokes very similar in location and size to what your wife is currently recovering from. Both members have come through with a near full recovery. Speach is perfect and only the most difficult of motor control is not present. They live everyday as if nothing happened and I am sure your wife will pull through and be back to her wonderful self much the same. You have not only ProCooling's family but the family's of many other forums, including Shamika Server, behind you in this spiritual adventure.

It is wonderful to hear of her recoveries thus far. I am sure the list will only grow as she fully recovers from her strokes. Keep the Faith and all things are possible.

TechWorthy
02-28-2004, 03:47 PM
I come way of SystemCooling.com, saw this posted as their top news item and having a wife that is due to deliver in the next two weeks it really hit home. I will say a prayer for your wife's fast recovery.

Brians256
02-28-2004, 11:26 PM
Well, another day, a bit more improvement. I really appreciate the encouragement from those of you who have been through this or have seen it. It sounds like the recovery is more gradual and longer-lasting than I thought. I was under the impression that if you don't see major improvements in the first couple of weeks, most of it won't come back. Boy am I glad to be wrong!

Also, thanks to Steve and Kyle over at HardOCP and Hyperthermia, I have a much better ability to deal with my unpaid absence from my job and bills that are starting to trickle in. Let this be a lesson to many: we may differ over how we do things, but there is a warm heart over there.

I have also received help from MANY of you directly via PayPal or email. I can't say thank you enough! I have tried to send a thank you note to each person who sent me something, no matter whether it was PayPal or an email of encouragement. It means something when you take the time to lift my spirits. God bless you (and I believe he will). I wish I could respond to each reply in this forum, but so many of you have posted, that I haven't had time. To you also, THANK YOU.

SGSeeker
02-29-2004, 12:03 AM
Hey Brian, I've been following the thread for awhile but have found it hard to find words to express how I feel about what's going on. I'm just so sorry this is happening to your wife, you, and your loved ones. I've been hoping for the best and it sounds like things are getting better. I doubt you remember but I live just beyond the river, in Vancouver. Let me know if there's anything I can help with.

Jibjo
02-29-2004, 12:24 AM
Linked in from OC.com: praying for you and yours.

TeaLeaf
02-29-2004, 03:06 AM
Linked in from Overclockers.com and have added a link to this thread on our own forums over at Dead Men Walking (http://forum.deadmen.co.uk/index.php?act=ST&f=3&t=4903) (a European Tactical Counter-Strike/Gaming community).

Brian, as a father too my heart goes out to you and I sincerely hope that things start to look up for you, your wife and your children in the coming weeks and months. Keep the faith.

TL.

nexxo
02-29-2004, 12:30 PM
I was under the impression that if you don't see major improvements in the first couple of weeks, most of it won't come back.

Don't you worry about that! Typically progress starts out slow and then increases at a faster rate. Moreover most progress tends to occur over a period of two years, and even after that late recovery is possible.

Now you've told me some more, I'm able to form a clearer picture. The damage does sound quite extensive, and I can see how the doctors have been hedging their bets. They don't want to give people false hope so they tend to be conservative in their estimates. I, too, don't want to give false hope and I am certainly not clairvoyant, but I think that at this stage you need a cognitive framework for coping; in simple terms: you need to know what you're dealing with, and roughly what you can expect. Moreover whereas the neurologists who treat your wife work in the acute setting (where people stay for a few months at most), I get to see people as they change and improve over the next years. So whereas unlike them I have relatively little knowledge on acute medical management, I have more experience with functional recovery over the very long term.

I would expect your wife to be quite tired and confused for the first few months, and then to start making more substantial cognitive improvements. Currently she may still be in "Post Traumatic Amnesia" (PTA) --that period following brain injury when new memories will not be laid down, or not very well. She may not remember your visits, and be quite disoriented as to where she is, what day/time it is etc.

"Retrograde Amnesia" (memory loss of facts and events from the past) even going back as far as 10+ years, also is common and tends to resolve, although I expect she will never recover memories of the last weeks/days upto her injury (including childbirth --have those baby pictures ready!).

I advise you to start recording by all means, photos, camcorder, audio tape, the baby's progress until her PTA resolves, as she won't remember this period later and will want to know the sound of its first gurgle... You can help your wife reconstruct her past memories by talking with her about the past, showing her pictures etc. I tend to help families construct a "time-line": a long sheet of paper with a line spanning from, say "10 years ago" to "Now", with keywords of events and photos of family albums stuck on at the relevant chronological position, left on a wall in plain sight for the patient to see, so they can start organising the fragments of their memories.

She will be very spaced out and tired for now. She will not remember things, and feel easily overwhelmed. Her disorientation and fatigue will make her seem flat. All this will pass in time. That she is speaking clearly (even if she is experiencing what we call "phonological dysphasia" --saying 'crystal' instad of 'Kellogs') is a good sign: it shows higher cognitive function, and if her speech is not slurred, and not 'dysfluent' (i.e. not slurred or stuttering) that would suggest that her motor functions got off lightly. Due to her injury she may lack intonation in her voice however, and this also will make her seem flat.

Keep an eye on her movement; if this improves rapidly over the next month, she should have few movement problems in the long term. If they don't, she will need physiotherapy input and may be left with some residual problems. I am very encouraged though to hear that she is up and walking already! Even if this is only a few, slow steps with someone supporting her, the very fact that she can perform such basic activity (together with the cerebellum for balance, the basal ganglia are the main circuits involved in repetitive automatic actions like walking) bodes well for her recovery.

If you feel the need to talk more about brain injury, brain function and neuro-rehab, contact me by PM and I'll give you my e-mail and MSN. Hang in there.

guandi
02-29-2004, 04:17 PM
Hey Brian,

There have only ever been three forum threads that have made me cry, two deaths of very close freinds and this one. My heart goes out to your young family and you have the best wishes of mine and my freinds. Ii hope your wife makes a full recovery and gets to be a great wife, and mother to your beautiful daughter.

-Phil

unrealrocks
02-29-2004, 04:53 PM
I am linked from CPU3D / AMD3D although saw the link on Hexus.NET. This has spread all over the net.

I'm really sorry to hear about your wife, its great she's getting better. I'm sure she'll make a recovery - we all can only hope. Even if things never go back quite to how they we're, you've allways got to look for the good things - I'm sure you'll get through this :)

Don't forget you've gained a beautiful girl from all this, and I'm sure you and your wife will be able to enjoy this new addition to your family very soon :)

I think the entire computer community is supporting you and your wife!

Brians256
02-29-2004, 06:14 PM
guandi, you and me both. It's been intense.

unrealrocks, thanks man. I'm really pumped about the new daughter. Her brothers are fighting over the opportunity to hold her (under supervision), and she's really a blessing. The entire community has been more than I ever thought!

nexxo, you keep hitting the nail on the head. I DO need a "cognitive framework". Without it, I've been feeling like a boat going full throttle with no map. I'm not stupid, so I've been asking lots of questions, learning details, and keeping track of everything that I can think of. But that's information, and I don't know how to process it. When you are thirsty, it doesn't work well to suck from a firehose. For example, she had a thrombosis in the inferior sagital sinus vein... no idea what that means to my wife long-term. Anyways, I can ask some of this stuff in PM or try to extract from the doctors helping Heather (which has been difficult so far).

As for how she's doing now, I think that she is responding to all the prayers that so many have been lifting up. She is able to walk to the bathroom with no more than observation, she interacted very well with the kids today (simple language but no stuttering or lost words), and she showed some positive emotions as well. It was great to see her smile when I walked into the room with the kids! So, maybe she could make a great recovery. I'm definitely thanking God, because the doctors weren't optimistic after only being able to give her blood thinners, give her anti-siezure medications and keep her from choking.

Tempus
02-29-2004, 08:11 PM
Brian- you are still in our thoughts. I've talked to friends in many boards and everyone knows and is thinking/praying for you. I wish there was more to do.


Just know we are all pulling for ya. My heart aches but I have to imagine that a beautiful little girl has to be so incredible. She is definately a gift.

Best wishes to you and yours.

gospelmidi
02-29-2004, 09:37 PM
Father, in the name of Jesus, please have mercy on Brian's wife and show Your lovingkindness by restoring her to health. Father, please don't let her die - her baby needs her mother. May Your will be done, which is better than whatever we might want. In the name of Jesus who died for our sins, with thanksgiving, amen.

Brian, please find a church or prayer meeting or home prayer group with righteous, godly people (not necessarily people who advertise healing and miracles) who are willing to support your family in prayer longterm, until you get a yes or no answer.

Jesus saves and heals, and God still works miracles, but He requires faith on your part to keep praying without giving up until He accomplishes what He intends. Keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking.

In Jesus' love,
Brian

Driver 7
02-29-2004, 11:13 PM
HaHa. I'm glad to hear that Brian. This is a pretty powerfull thread. I have been glued to it since it started. I wish I could be there when Heather gets home and gets to read it all. There's so much love and so many prayers being sent to you and your wife that your gonna have to get a door man to let it all in.

I drive tow truck so I listen to the radio alot, And whenever I hear the song Calling all Angles by Train I think of you and your wife. ;)

Mr. Thompson
02-29-2004, 11:21 PM
Father, in the name of Jesus, please have mercy on Brian's wife and show Your lovingkindness by restoring her to health. Father, please don't let her die - her baby needs her mother. May Your will be done, which is better than whatever we might want. In the name of Jesus who died for our sins, with thanksgiving, amen.

Brian, please find a church or prayer meeting or home prayer group with righteous, godly people (not necessarily people who advertise healing and miracles) who are willing to support your family in prayer longterm, until you get a yes or no answer.

Jesus saves and heals, and God still works miracles, but He requires faith on your part to keep praying without giving up until He accomplishes what He intends. Keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking.

In Jesus' love,
Brian

Amen and Amen.

jtroutma
03-01-2004, 01:13 AM
Brian,

Just letting you know that I am still here and praying for you and your wife every day.

I have been following your wifes progress and overjoyed to hear all the great news about her steps towards recovery.

Again, keep the faith and keep it up. All will be fine in the end.

Jtroutman

lloydchan
03-01-2004, 02:49 AM
Brian,

Hope all is going well with your new born and the recovery of your wife. Would just like to tell you if you have the oppurtunity and time, read the Book of Job.

Best Regards,
Lloyd

DarkEdge
03-01-2004, 05:33 AM
I havn't posted in a long time and been out of the water cooling seen for awhile because of real life stuff. I was over at overclockers.com and saw the link and had to come over here and post for support. I'm so happy she is making a recovery. I'm also glad to hear you are coping fairly well. Its really amazing to see people come together in times of crisis. Its been a hard year for alot of people, and sadly its like my prayers have a new name added to them each week. I always tell myself though, no matter what happens in life, it can only make you stronger, and a better person.

Heres to you Brian! Congrats on another wonderful bundle of joy, and I wish your family the best.

shroomer
03-01-2004, 06:24 AM
I don't personally believe in prayer, but I am glad to hear that your wife is improving so well. Hopefully this trend will continue. I can't imagine what I would do if my wife suffered such an injury.

nexxo
03-01-2004, 08:36 AM
she had a thrombosis in the inferior sagital sinus vein... no idea what that means to my wife long-term.

The inferior sagital sinus vein is one of the veins through which blood returns from the brain to the heart. Basically it runs from the top of the corpus callosum --the bit that connects the two hemispheres of the brain-- to its back. Point straight down on the top of your head: a few inches down is where the vein starts. Now point at the back of your head: a few inches inwards is where it finishes by connecting to the straight sinus, which runs to the back of your head and then splits into the inferior vermian veins (left and right), both of which run along the base of the skull towards your ears, to connect to the jugular veins running down the neck. It starts pretty close to the basal ganglia and some other veins from that area meet it at its straight sinus junction, hence the location of the damage.

A thrombosis is a blood cloth which somehow got washed up the bloodstream and "plugs" a vein or artery, like a drain blockage. This can cause backpressure and rupture/bleed of vessels, but also stroke as parts of the brain do not get their supply of blood.

Stroke does its damage in a matter of minutes, as brain cells need a constant supply of blood and oxygen (in fact 15% of the air you breath and food you eat is for the brain, which accounts for only 2% of your total body weight. Hungry little thing).

A bleed is a problem because: 1. blood does not go where it's due (hence causing a stroke); 2. it spills out and having no room to expand, presses on delicate brain structures; 3. blood contains iron, which is poisonous to braincells (in fact to most cells, which is why blood is meant to stay firmly inside the blood vessels). A bleed takes a few weeks max to be "cleaned up" by the body.

A thrombosis is broken down and cleaned up by the body very quickly (but not within minutes, which is when damage occurs), and when blood thinners are used, even more quickly. However I doubt that if the doctors had cottoned on to what was happening rightaway, they could have prevented the damage from occuring, as it happens within the first few minutes.

Your wife, I must say, is doing spectacularly well, if she is already walking unaided. Don't worry, I think she'll come out of this really well.

CrOsSwIrE
03-01-2004, 08:53 AM
Brian... I was linked here from Gruntville, and I just want to say that my heart goes out to you. Its great to see that your wife is recovering quickly.

snvpa
03-01-2004, 08:59 AM
Brian,

My heart goes out to you and yours. First congratulations on the new addition to the family. Secondly I'm glad to see your wife is making such a speedy recovery, listening to your reports shows the quick progress she is making. I'm not a praying man but my thoughts are with you and yours. Keep the faith and take care of yourself, I know its difficult but try and get some sleep. You have all of our support @ OC.com.

Nexxo, great job with the posts, when my stepfather (may he rest in peace) was in the hospital, with ARDS, sepsis (an infection in the blood) and a stroke it comforted me to learn and understand at least in part what was going on. Your posts are helping brian understand that which is great, Keep up the good work.

MoFugga
03-01-2004, 11:13 AM
Brian,

My wife and I heard your story over at [H] and our hearts and prayers go out to you and your family. Congratulations on the newest member of your family, and best wishes to you and your wife!

Kevin & Jennifer

SparkedFire
03-01-2004, 02:36 PM
Brian,

I have contributed here before, but got the news from [H]ard|OCP. I want to give you my thoughts during your time of need.

I am really supprised by how much the puter enthusiast community has come to your need. Just let us know if there is anything we can do.

--On behalf of my tiny site, ThePCElement.com, I wish you the best.

Ricey
03-01-2004, 05:32 PM
Hey Brian, just wanted to say congratulations to your new born. Also im sorry to hear about Heather, i hope she gets better quickly. Best wishes to your family and never lose hope!

Brians256
03-01-2004, 06:26 PM
Don't feel too sad. This is a stressful time for me, and I've been very down at different points. But, I know that good will come out of this. Even if Heather doesn't recover much more (and I expect her to get at least some better even if it isn't 100% recovery), I was able to give her a hug today and she hugged me back. I appreciate my wife more than I ever did, and that's something many people never get. I appreciate my God more, tough as this has been. He's been taking care of me.

TheEagleCD
03-01-2004, 06:29 PM
Dear Brian,
I learned about your situation while reading two of my favourite websites, overclockers.com and sudhian.com and it's touched my heart so I decided to post it on EPIACENTER.com's frontpage...
It's moments like these which demonstrate that the online computer-scene is indeed a community. It's great to see the amount of wonderful people posting support, information and stories full of hope, donating or supporting you in every other possibe way.

Not being on the religous side of things, I just prefer to ask whatever amazing 'thing' is watching our lives to allow for a full recovery of your wife so she can enjoy the presence of your beautiful daugther, your other children and her husband.

Warm wishes from distant Austria!
TheEagleCD

LPMiller
03-01-2004, 07:32 PM
I've been trying to avoid this, because it frankly hits me too hard. My wife is due at the end of this month with our second child, and it hasn't been an easy pregnancy at all - in fact, it's had way too many scary moments for my tastes.

So reading of your troubles has not been something I've wanted to do. It freaks me out at a time I can't be freaked out.

But I cannot stand by and not say anything any more. Brian, I don't know that I would handle this as well as you are. I'd be a wreck. I was a wreck when my wife had gallstones. I was a wreck during the first birth, when the heart monitor would flatline because the stupid lead wouldn't stay in place. To see my wife suffer as you have, intermixed with the joy of another daughter...I'd be a nutcase.

You sir, are going through one hell of a trial, but it looks to me that you got what it takes to make it through, and lead your family on. I pray for you, and your wife, and wish you only the best. Keep strong.

I've posted the HardOCP raffle the GotApex news page, and again wish you the best.

SCompRacer
03-01-2004, 10:03 PM
Congratulations on the new addition Brian. I include your wife in my prayers for a full recovery, and strength for you and your children to get through this.

My Best,

Rich

SS Joe
03-01-2004, 11:13 PM
Hey, I read your story from HotHardware and HardOCP, and just wanted to give my sympathies.

"This thread probably made it clear that I'm a Christian. But, I hope that this thread doesn't get side-tracked by people who want to debate differing religious views"

I'm not christian, but i'll still pray for you and your wife :) I hope everything works out in time.

-Matt

satanicoo
03-01-2004, 11:31 PM
Brian, i must give congrats on your new kid, and i really hope your wife keeps the recovery.
Above all keep optimistic and an expeling joy, as it will keep your wife happy and help her recover even faster.

Dont know what else to say. Take care.

pHaestus
03-01-2004, 11:52 PM
"I have been doing this website gig for about six years now and you guys still never fail to amaze me. As of writing this, 848 of you contributed over $15,000 that will go to help Brian and Heather Smith. (The full story and ways to still enter the raffle are at this link.) With the money that Steve raised last week at Hypothermia and including other committed contributions, you guys have given Heather an opportunity that she may have missed otherwise with a current total of over $20,000 for the Smith family. Brian Smith has extended his heartfelt appreciation. Thanks to all of our readers and you guys from other sites that came and helped as well. You all certainly make us proud to be part of this community. More updates to come."

Wow

Cairenn
03-02-2004, 12:43 AM
Just checking in, glad to hear that she is still positively progressing! Keep hanging in there. :)

Jabo
03-02-2004, 06:17 AM
Shall we make a raffle too?
Everybody is able to shell out for a raffle ticket :)

Brian, Heather WILL recover much more, if nexxo is amazed by her progress so far...
It just takes time. you will get there together!

JoshuaPurcell
03-02-2004, 08:26 AM
The [H] raffle is linked from Fark.com now! Word is getting around about it fast... Good luck Brian, I hope everything works out well for you and your family.

Link: www.fark.com

Brians256
03-02-2004, 09:13 AM
The [H] raffle is linked from Fark.com now! Word is getting around about it fast... Good luck Brian, I hope everything works out well for you and your family.

Link: www.fark.com

This is incredible. From what I heard from the insurance rep, I'll probably be able to use all of it and more (as out-patient therapy continues, work loss continues, etc...) over the next year or more, but it's an incredible hunk of change when you look at it all at once. My VISA card companies won't be happy with this, though. No maxing out the VISA cards to pay for medical treatment and mortgage now!

That money is going to pay for a lot of medical degees.

Spreker
03-02-2004, 10:26 AM
Brian -

God be with you and your family.. I wanted to drop in to let you know that your story is reaching people around the world and we're all praying for a speedy recovery. It's a good feeling to know people do care about others.. ;)


[H]ardOCP - Even though I don't need a new case.. I have joined the raffle for the cause.


Again.. god bless and never stop believing in Heather.

Spreker

Jabo
03-02-2004, 10:55 AM
I tried to follow tha above link but with no success.
I went to [H] directly to find it and here it is : Raffle Link - Direct (http://www.hardocp.com/news.html?news=OTU5NCxNYXJjaCAgICAsMjAwNA)

EDIT: I hope Admins do not mind...

Kid
03-02-2004, 11:45 PM
Why would they? They are not doing this for profit, they are doing this for the sake of Brian's wife. I am very glad to hear that your wife's chances are improving! You are in me and my friends prayers... It's blown me away to see how your story has spead! Keep spreading it guys!

God bless, Aaron B.

Jabo
03-03-2004, 04:12 AM
I knew they wouldn't ;)
I was just trying to be polite:)

Sc0rian
03-03-2004, 10:43 AM
Nice one brain.

Brians256
03-03-2004, 06:20 PM
Small update.

Her physical recovery is doing very well: she can slowly walk up and down stairs with good balance for instance. So, they are going to discharge her (late next week) to live at home while we will then take her to daily therapy sessions at a nearby hospital. Her thinking is still very clouded, so part of her activity at home will be to do ABC's and 123's with our 3-year-old, play games like patty-cake with the 1 year old, and so on. I keep asking about what they think her long-term prognosis is and they still have to reply that they don't know. They might know more in six-months, they say.

Thankfully, I'm getting some help from my mom (for the next 3 weeks), Heather's sister (part-time help in the week), and others that can help in small amounts.

Thanks again to all of you who helped. You made it possible for me to stand up in a meeting with Heather's doctors and specialists today and say that I wanted Heather to have therapy even if it wasn't covered by insurance. Thanks to all of you who prayed, because Heather is physically recovering faster than they expected.

Corax
03-03-2004, 07:15 PM
That's great news Brian! :D

Thanks for the update! My wife and I have been thinking about you ever since I first saw your post. I’m really glad she is going to be able to go home! It will be huge for her and the kids to be able to be together most of the time. And getting her back as close as possible to her normal routine may help her get some of her memories back.

It's been great to see the support you've been getting from all us computer nerds. I know how much it will mean to you. My wife and I are still recovering from 4 years of hell that we had starting with my disability over 10 years ago (Cluster Headaches if you're interested). About the same time my wife's job fell apart. We did what you thought you were going to have to do, paid bills with credit cards, and we still don't have it paid off... but its going down. (About $30,000, now in the second mortgage, left to go). Things were really tough for quite a while. Medical bills were high but probably nowhere near what you will have since there isn’t much they can do for my problem. If my Dad hadn’t been able to help us out some we would have gone bankrupt. And we don’t have any kids! But, things are finally looking better for us. My Wife has re-trained herself to be a SQL/ASP .NET developer and has a new full time job that she is able to do from home, which cuts down on expenses too. And it’s nice to have her around if I need her. I’m also having fewer headaches a day, so I’m hoping that they will go into a remission again soon (a long one would be nice!). We contributed to both the computer raffles; we know how much every dollar will count for you.

Keep us informed of Heather’s progress, I’m sure we aren’t the only ones that are wanting to know how things are going!

Kirk

animedown
03-03-2004, 11:09 PM
Brian, I came by way of Tech-Report which linked to [H]OCP to here, I am truly touched by what has happened to you. Although I happen to be a nihilist, I will hope that everything becomes alright and will do whatever I can to help.

Blackeagle
03-03-2004, 11:47 PM
Glad to hear that your wife is making such good progress Brian.

Hang in there man!

Puzzdre
03-04-2004, 06:37 AM
Those are wonderful news Brian,

Glad you and your family did well through this heavy state, and as the progress keeps up, hope you'll have all the strength and support needed to keep on!

Keep on bud, you're doing great!

Weebol
03-04-2004, 11:16 AM
Good to hear things are looking better. Prayer works.



BTW, I heard about this site over at 2cpu.com, but I don't hang out there much since I sold my dualie (unlocked xp1700's) and built my lastest, an Athlon64.
Now I am at planetamd64.com. Not much difference, were all computer geeks. :p

jlrii
03-04-2004, 11:54 AM
Brian, First of all my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope all ends up well. I will think of you and your family and hope that helps. I am not Christian but I cannot help but feel that all of the thoughts of support expressed by everyone who feels for you must go somewhere. And that somehow those feelings will help your wife recover and allow you to remain strong. It seems strange to say but in the midst of an ordeal like yours it is beautiful to see people come together as they have. Chin up mate.

J.Rabel

nexxo
03-04-2004, 02:29 PM
Brian, I replied to your PM of 01.03.04 but didn't get a confirmation of receipt... this makes me worry that you may not have received it. Did you?

In any case, great to hear Heather's doing well. Her recovery curve is pretty spectacular. Don't worry too much about how good she'll get in the long term, because she'll be fine.

Brians256
03-04-2004, 03:04 PM
Thank you, nexxo. I did get your PMs. If anyone else expected confirmation receipts, probably none of you got them, then. I think my browser is breaking that function (I have a popup blocker and filter that makes some things not work).

RedBall
03-04-2004, 06:48 PM
Brian,
I read your story on OCs com. I will post your story on my clans forum as well, My heart definantly goes out to you and your family, I injured my back in 01, and have had problems ever since, leaving me pretty much helpless/useless, I rely on my wife for pretty much anything, bathing, delivering me to doc appoints, getting dressed, ect. I also have four kids, so I can kind of relate to what you are going through by seeing my wife do it all, it is very emotionally, financially, and mentally challenging, It is very encouraging to see the gaming/o'clocking community come together to offer their support and prayers. I wish there were more we could do, but for now we will do what we can, and continue our support to you and your family.

Y2KRedBall

P.S. Congradulations on the baby girl

satanicoo
03-04-2004, 08:46 PM
Kinda off-topic and probably not convenient but...
Happy birthday Brian!

Fyber
03-04-2004, 08:52 PM
Brian,

My thoughts and prayers go out to you man. I know how hard it must be taking care of 4 kids, dealing with your wife's stroke, and trying to keep up with all of us geeks supporting you at the same time.

I was inspired to create a front page news post about this and the raffles and everything on my homesite, PCSynapse.com, after reading your story on overclockers.com. It really hit me, I've been around when members of my family are disabled, and it's a tough time.

Anyway, I hope everything turns out well man, sometimes it's tough to imagine a time when things have been worse, but I know you'll pull through it.

Good luck, and you've got my prayers.
:dome:

Brians256
03-05-2004, 12:40 AM
Happy birthday Brian!
Thanks! I get a birthday present tomorrow: I get to be with my wife at the rehab center preparing for her to visit us at home this weekend! They think she's advanced physically enough to visit us even if she still needs work with cognitive recovery! I guess the criteria are that she can eat, bathroom, and do stairs without expert nurses to care for her. By late next week, they think she'll actually leave there and come home. Then, she can visit therapists instead of living in the hospital!

Now, that's a present, eh?

It really hit me, I've been around when members of my family are disabled, and it's a tough time.

We will pull through. We've already had loads of great news and it gives me optimism that she'll make a good recovery even if she'll need many months of rehab.

Tempus
03-05-2004, 08:12 AM
WOW! Thats excellent progress. Its amazing what she's able to do.

I'm glad you are holding up well and in good spirits. I can only guess how draining its all been. Stay strong man. Is there a place we can send cards?

Brians256
03-05-2004, 09:10 AM
WOW! Thats excellent progress. Its amazing what she's able to do.

I'm glad you are holding up well and in good spirits. I can only guess how draining its all been. Stay strong man. Is there a place we can send cards?

It is nothing short of a miracle, in my opinion. The low point was when the nurses were getting me ready for a funeral, and now it seems she might recover significantly (whatever that means). It turns out my next-door neighbor was a managing nurse at a "sub-acute rehabilitation center" in Seattle, which is just like the RIO (Rehabilitation Institute of Oregon) that my wife is in. Talk about coincidence? I just found that out last night. She was saying that Heather's recovery is amazingly rapid, considering the size of her bleeds. All I can say is that I saw them on the MRI and CAT scans myself, so I know they were as large as the doctors said. She also said that the doctors never admit that things like this might be the result of God, since it runs counter to their philosophy. Turns out that most neurologists and neurosurgeons have quite the arrogant attitude (after all that schooling and such). Well, I believe. The doctors can believe what they want, but this has been very atypical recovery. :D

MMZ_TimeLord
03-05-2004, 11:22 AM
Amen brother! :p

nexxo
03-05-2004, 03:07 PM
It most certainly has been! But the brain can be like that: do not underestimate the power of neural networking! I have always felt however that the doctors' estimates were too pessimistic. I can only see things getting better. :)

As for neurologists, to be fair I know a few really, really good ones, but some in my opinion also give surprisingly little "bang for your buck", so to speak... With neursosurgeons again I know a few really good ones (I know one who can dive right in there and clip an aneurysm in the most tricky, inaccessible part of the brain --estimated patient survival rate: 50%; estimated chance of at least partial blindness or paralysis about 75%-- and the patient comes out with no symptoms whatsoever. I mean, that man is good), but I also suspect that some need to psychologically compensate for the fact that really, they can't do all that much about brain injury. Nanotech is still a century or so away... :p

Fyber
03-05-2004, 06:07 PM
Brian,

I'm happy for you. I'm glad to hear she's alright and well.

Nexxo's a brain expert, so I'd agree 100% with what he said.

Anyway, congrats on the new daughter, and I'm glad your wife is better.

-Fyber

Corax
03-06-2004, 10:54 AM
Remember Scotty on Star Trek? He tells the Captain things are worse than they are, then fixes it much faster than he told the captain it could possibly be fixed. That way he gets the reputation of being a "miracle worker."

It’s the same way for Doctors, They would much rather be pessimistic and wrong than optimistic and wrong.

They get sued less often that way.

Willmonwah
03-06-2004, 07:00 PM
I wish your family the best! It was heartrending to see the good news followed so soon by bad news, but I hope she continues to improve and get all possible rehab she can.

-Will

princess
03-06-2004, 10:02 PM
Congratulations on this wonderful news!! My thoughts are with you and your family every day. Continue thinking in the positive direction - I know I will be :^)
-Steph

Serpreme
03-11-2004, 01:28 PM
Well lets not question this miracle,i'm just happy its coming through for you Brain,from HardOCP and TTC,my best wishes are out to you.

Liquid_Lizzard
03-11-2004, 11:59 PM
Brian hello from the four corners area new mexico usa ,have been following your thread since i surfed over from overclockers.com and must say that my thoughts have been with you and im glad your wife is coming along so well so soon just go's to show what the power of the brain and a lil love and support from you and all of us outhere pulling for her can do keep us posted and best wishes john mc.

Brians256
03-12-2004, 01:17 AM
Update! Heather made it home today at about 3:00pm and it feels great to have her back! She's still needing a lot of work with memory, thinking and she still needs some work on her physical abilities. However, she's home, and that's a HUGE chunk of goodness dropped into my life.

The outpatient therapy starts now, but they actually think she might regain enough so that a casual conversation two years from now might not divulge that she had a stroke. So, only she (and others that knew her well and spend a lot of time with her) would know that some things are not the same as they were.

I'd post a picture that I took when she first came home, but my laptop with all the pics downloaded from the camera just died. The backlight CCFL is burnt, I think, and I don't know how to replace that on my Fujitsu N3010. I can't even take it apart easily, unlike the much older compaq laptops that I've owned. I'm going to copy data off of my laptop drive and send the laptop in for warantee repairs, but it's still annoying. Ask pHaestus how it feels, as he had laptop break for him too (although I think his problem was hard drive failure)! :mad:

nexxo
03-12-2004, 11:06 AM
they actually think she might regain enough so that a casual conversation two years from now might not divulge that she had a stroke.

OK, NOW they tell you... :rolleyes: :D I feel that's a correct estimate though. Good to hear she's back home. Take care and have a bit of a holiday break together after all that!

Serpreme
03-12-2004, 04:03 PM
2 years is nothing when your working with something you love. I'm sure that now she is home,she will progress nicely enough.

pHaestus
03-12-2004, 04:50 PM
After a day of fiddling my notebook is working fine again Brian. Weirdest thing I've seen in a long time; all's well that ends well though I guess.

Joe
03-12-2004, 04:55 PM
Its great to hear stuff is progressing that well Brian! Glad to hear shes home!

Mr. Thompson
03-12-2004, 06:01 PM
Brian - Thanks for the update. It's good to hear things are going well.

Our prayers for you and Heather will continue.

Colin

Jibjo
03-12-2004, 10:12 PM
Brian yes thanks for the update - I give you joy, and continue to have your family in thoughts and prayers.

UnloadeD
03-13-2004, 02:19 AM
Glad to hear she's made it home and is doing so well. I agree 100% about doctors sometimes being overly pessimistic. A guy I work with, his wife was pregnant and almost 2 months ago the doctors told them the baby was deformed and probably wouldn't be born alive. This was based on ultrasounds and other tests they ran. They tried to convince them to abort or induce labor and get it over with. This went strongly against their religious beliefs so they decided to wait. Last week the baby was born via C-section with Dr, anasthesist, nurse, father and chaplain present. To everybody's suprise they had a perfectly healthy baby girl. The mother wound up being completely put under during the procedure and it took a while for it to sink in when she was coming out of it. A lot of people have been telling them they could probably sue for mental anguish or something along those lines. They aren't interested in anything like that. They are just grateful to have a healthy baby and that they were able to stick to their beliefs. I only share the story with you because I've been sharing your story with him, both kind of have the same impact on me. Keep us updated on progress and setbacks lots of us are following along.

peace.
unloaded

TheEagleCD
03-13-2004, 07:10 AM
Yeah, thanks for the update - and it's great to hear that she's home with you and your kids!
You're always in our hearts and minds.

TheEagleCD

skirge01
03-13-2004, 11:15 PM
Brian... thanks so much for the update. You've definitely been in many people's thoughts and prayers for quite some time. We're all very happy to hear this great news from you, but nowhere near as happy as I'm sure you are!

guandi
03-15-2004, 06:22 PM
Ker-Ching. Paypall credited 30-somthing dollars, (£20) i hope it helps :)

Get well soon Heather!!!

-Phil

Brians256
03-15-2004, 07:24 PM
Ker-Ching. Paypall credited 30-somthing dollars, (£20) i hope it helps :)

Get well soon Heather!!!

-Phil

Thank you, Phil. Maybe I'll get her some flowers. It's pretty frustrating and depressing for her right now. She's not used to having people tell her that it's not safe to do certain things (like driving, yikes!) and having people correct her when she uses a wrong word or when she needs to stop doing things over and over (look up perseverance, not the same thing as perserverance).

nexxo
03-16-2004, 06:27 AM
The term you're looking for is "perseveration". It is a problem that can occur in the executive system of the brain (frontal lobes). It can show as repetetive action, or difficulty in moving on to another action (even though the person is quite aware of this). Perseveration can also show in thinking (difficulty in disengaging from an idea or train of thought) or choice of words.

This early on, I'd expect this to improve with time. Meanwhile, if Heather notices herself getting stuck, it is best to say "stop" to herself, pause for a few seconds to clear her head, and start again. Also she needs to take things at a slower pace than she is accustomed to, as she probably still be a bit slowed (people tend to act at their habitual speed, even when their brain takes longer to catch up).

Brians256
03-16-2004, 01:28 PM
The term you're looking for is "perseveration".

Thanks again, nexxo. It's been hard to memorize all the new vocabulary when I'm only catching it as part of a conversation. I now understand a bit of how computer newbies feel when they jump into conversations filled with terms like Dual-channel DDR, FSB, XP-SP1a, North Bridge, and such. I'm learning things like perseveration, ADL's, INR levels, and S-protein levels in the blood. I used to think I was smart, but the field of medicine really humbles me. So, either doctors either have a brain the size of a planet, or they are REALLY good at faking it. :D

Jabo
03-16-2004, 02:50 PM
Wow, congratulations on Heather's miraculous recovery! and Happy Birthday to you mate!
She must be itching to get back to her usual self I bet :)
I keep repeating like a stuck record that she will be 100% fine, just give her time and all the love you got for her (long distance runs are the most difficult ones and things may get difficult for both of you later on but I am sure all will end up just fine).
Faith really DOES do wonders (you beliveing in her full recovery is better than all the therapy she'll ever recieve - your support is absolutely priceless BRian so keep it up m8! as you do all the time!:) )

Again, I am over the moon for all of you guys and keep up the good work!

nexxo
03-17-2004, 12:55 PM
either doctors have a brain the size of a planet, or they are REALLY good at faking it. :D

They're really good at faking it. :D

Just kidding. But it's like any other expertise: we all know our own particular field really well. They do brain injury rehab, you do engineering. I'm not sure that most doctors (or I, for that matter) could keep up with you in a decent conversation on engineering...

Stang_Man
04-15-2004, 08:51 PM
i'm sorry i am not up to date, but how is your wife Heather doing now?

Etacovda
04-17-2004, 11:50 AM
All i can say after reading these 10 pages of posts, is Wow. The sheer intensity of what has happened here is amazing. The wonder of childbirth (for a forth time, congrats you verile man you ;)) to a terrible occurance of illness, to the amazing and truely humbling help of the online community of overclockers and hardware nuts that we all know we are, and finally to a recovery that is nothing short of spectacular. I know myself what it is like to see loved ones close to death and having to recover - thankfully, amazing recoveries run in my family also. A strong will is the best medicine anyone will ever have, and it seems obvious that both yourself and your wife have this.

I know that now more than ever you will appreciate everything in life, especially your family and wife. Also, from what you've replied here, your attitude is the exact right one; its truely humbling to behold how you've dealt with this tragedy. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that if anyone, anywhere, deserved the support you have recieved from this truely amazing community, it is you.

Ive never been so proud to be a part of the world overclocking/hardware community. It is truely humbling, and to be frank, this thread has made me cry.

God bless you Brian and Heather, and god bless this community.

Brians256
04-17-2004, 01:30 PM
Thanks for asking!

Heather is doing better, for sure. She's going to go with me to the store to pick up some groceries while her sister stays at home with the kids. She's showing some emotion, too, although still not a lot. Her speech therapist says she's really improving, which is good. I guess that's because her working memory is getting better. I don't think the speech therapist tests short term memory or long-term memory (which she's doing not a lot better and still pretty good, respectively).

Anyway, it's still good to have her with me. We just need to get her ability to initiate actions more healed.

I'll probably start posting about other stuff than the stroke situation, because I'm sure that not everyone wants to hear about it. I'll probably start with another thread on my dirt-simple aluminum case but still keep updating this thread on occasion. That way, the other thread will be fore-front, but those who are interested will still be able to look at this on.

#Rotor
04-17-2004, 04:35 PM
..... but those who are interested......

which basically includes every soul on the ship... and then some...
:)

Glad to here things are looking up.

MMZ_TimeLord
04-18-2004, 04:38 AM
/me huggles Heather and sends blessings upon her and all her family from all 330+ MMZs :D :p :dome:

Love to you...

bigben2k
04-18-2004, 01:48 PM
Oh please do keep us posted!

Mighty glad to see things improving: I thought that the recovery would have taken much longer: it really looks promising!

FoolOnTheHill
04-19-2004, 12:49 AM
Hey Brian,

I'm really glad to see that things are going better with Heater. It has been truly amazing to see the support that this great community has provided for you.

Unfortunately, I can sympathize with what it feels like to watch a loved one undergo a stroke. My grandfater, a few weeks ago, had a small stroke while he was at my high school production of Oklahoma. He was then carted off to the hospital for treatment. Although his case was much less severe than that of your wife, it was still scary to see him having trouble moving his right side, and having difficulty speaking. He's made a strong recovery so far, but his appetite is way down and he's having bad mood swings. All I know is, I look foreward to seeing every little bit of progress as it comes, from day to day, as I'm sure you do. I have a lot of respect for you, and the strength you've had to go through all this. I can only imagine, but now it seems like things are looking up, which is wonderful.

You'll all be in my prayers as well.

I think I speak for pretty much everyone here when I say that we want to keep hearing updates and keep supporting you as you continue.

nexxo
04-20-2004, 03:56 PM
Good to hear your wife continues to make progress. Working memory takes a while to recover, more so because it is dependent on other cognitive variables such as attention/concentration, processing speed and fatigue, all of which are affected in a brain injury.

It is important to know that an injury to the lymbic system (of which basal ganglia are a part) can affect emotional expression as well as the experience of emotion in itself. This means that some people can experience the full range and depth of emotion they always could, but (the largely automatic processes of) expression may be affected. As such they may appear flat and distant, but this is not necessarily a reflection of what they are feeling inside.

Expression of emotion is also associated with "initiation". This is governed largely by the Cingulate Gyrus of the right-hand frontal lobe, which is very near the right-hand thalamic and lymbic system areas. If memory serves me this is where Heather sustained the largest injury.

Initiation should not be confused with motivation, although of course the latter is affected by the former. Initiation is the get-up-and-go impulse we experience when we engage in action, and also affects depth of cognitive processing (i.e. how well and thoroughly we think about things) and emotional expression. Without initiation we become passive, easily led and seem indifferent to things that we once felt strongly about.

This is why I said in the past that Heather feeling tearful and upset was a good thing. As long as she experiences strong feelings, she has a spark in there. Other things that affect emotion and initiation are of course fatigue and energy levels, and self-confidence. Don't underestimate how pummeled by life she must feel, and how insecure and vulnerable. Give her time and encouragement and it will start to come together.

nexxo
04-20-2004, 04:01 PM
P.S. @ FoolOnTheHill: mood swings are not uncommon with left frontal (which is where your grandfather had the stroke, by the sounds of it) brain injury. Besides being in hospital never works well for anyone's mood. His mood should improve within the next three months. hang in there.

mr_pina
05-09-2004, 01:46 PM
Found this in a link from a link, directly from a Portuguese forum, this is really world wide concern... i hope things have improved for Heather, i can see that its been a while since someone posted here.

best of wishes from me, may God be whith you in this time of need,
Ricardo, Portugal.

Brians256
05-09-2004, 09:08 PM
Thank you, Mr. Pina. Things have definitely improved. Right now, Heather is playing with three of the kids without prompted or helped. That's a huge step! Being able to deal with multiple people at different levels is complicated stuff, or so the speech therapist says. She was able to go into a store today and pick out a gift for her Dad's wife (this is Mother's day in the US). So, she is recovering daily-living skills.

Thanks for all of your prayers and thoughts,
Brian

dacooltech
05-19-2004, 05:49 PM
Brian I'm so happy to hear that Heather's back home. That's helluva Bday present :) Happy Bday BTW...
I'm sure Heather's miracolous improvements will continue, and she fully recovers soon...
and foogget'bout those pessimistic docs :)
-sorry NeXXo it goes only to those pessimistic docs ;)

Hugs and kisses to the whole family :)

Brians256
05-19-2004, 06:20 PM
Thanks Bruce!

This last Monday, she had an evaluation at a place called PRA (Progressive Rehabilitation Associates) where they spent all day running tests. Boy, that was intense! All kinds of stuff that you or I would say is simple (such as balance, word association, executive function (like planning a trip), remembering faces or instructions, etc..) had her exhausted by the end of the day. She was so tired that she threw up in the final interview! Thankfully, the MD (a physiatrist) was understanding and helped us clean up. I hope she can get into this program, but who knows? It's expensive and intensive, but I think it might help her out quite a bit more than the twice-weekly outpatient visits.

One other thing that I re-experienced there: other people have had it a LOT worse than Heather and I. It's amazing what some of those people have actually survived! One guy was driving a big cat (earth moving machine) and it fell backwards off of a cliff. His eye popped out, his skull was crushed in the front, and other "minor" injuries were inflicted. Another person fell 500 feet from a scaffold and had similarly bad injuries.

Heather is up, walking and talking and able to be evaluated by this program in only three months. These guys are just now being able to get to that level and they've been recovering for 2-3 years! Losing chunks of your brain does that to you. :eek:

HAL-9000
05-19-2004, 09:15 PM
I just got done perusing through this thread...how horrible for you, and especially your sweetie Heather to have to deal with this!

The only experience I have had with a family member that remotely compares to this is from about seven years ago. My mother had a tooth infection, and hating dentists as she did, decided just to deal with the pain and not clue people in about her condition. Strange? Yes. But my mother is a unique person...

Well, my mom paid for her obstinance, the infection didn't go away, it went "septic" which means (as I was soon to learn) that the infection penetrated her bloodstream, through the root of her infected tooth in this instance. I also learned that is very bad, to say the least. My dad just happened to notice that my mom stopped breathing while they were watching TV and my mom had seemingly dozed off. He took her to the hospital thank God, and O2 deprivation from that "downtime" left my Mom in a coma for eleven days.

Seeing her in the hospital sucked. She was on a ventilator, and after she woke up, for another week and a half or so no one was "home." Metaphorically you could say the lights were on, TV, dishwasher running...but no one home so to speak. Just a blank stare into nothingness...we or the doctors didn't know how much of mom would "come back" after this. It really is a lottery I learned with recovery from injuries or damage to the brain. Every case is unique, and strange in its own way.

She did come back mostly, but now she's little bit slower, a little bit more "off," I don't know how to describe it. And now she is on a O2 bottle most of the time. But I am glad she is alive, she is my mother, she has been a awesome mom, and I love her dearly (sniff, sniff... ;) ). I would much rather have her around being a little "off" than not at all! I am very lucky to not be telling this story with a much darker end. But from that experience, I think I can empthasize with your feelings about what your dealing with Brian256, but not your burden.

My dad can take care of my mom. He is a great companion for her, and he dearly loves her. As much as I hate to admit, it kinda lets me off the hook to go do my own thing, such as dwell on something that in comparison is so trivial, like how to shave 3C off my processor's temperature.

You don't have that option...three kids to feed and a fourth one thats newborn, which really means three MORE kids as far as labor to raise, a job, those Devil Spawned medical bills...and this site!? I don't know how you do it man! PROPS!

psychofunk
05-30-2004, 03:58 PM
I don't know who you are but I do know that you are a father so I say congrats. It is the most wonderful thing that can happen to a person. It can be tuff sometimes but just remember that you can never take back words and you can never have the day back so make the most of them. The wonderful days of childhood will disappear quicker then the days of your life. May God bless you family and give you patience!

Edit: I just read more of this thread and realized that there were some complications with your wife. My prayers are with your family. Just remember that doctors don't know it all and that even the most dark of times can be overcome. I pray your wife recovers 100%.

Mr. Thompson
06-24-2004, 11:55 AM
Hi Brian - We're still praying. Any updates?

Colin

Brians256
06-25-2004, 10:36 AM
Well, not much change from the last update. Heather is still healthy and has had no more strokes, which is good. She is getting stronger and having more endurance, so she isn't sleeping as much during the day.

She had an MRI last Friday, which showed that the damage from the strokes is healing. But we still have a long way to go. Please pray that these things would improve: strength, endurance, memory, ability to act without being told, and her ability to have emotions.

Right now, we are all sharing the stomach flu, but at least that goes away quickly. :D