Well I can safely say(because I have a German surname: Reichert)
without hesitation!, that it say's :
" Hi here thats a tit Dad, HW-Labs Black Ice Extreme
TWO Chrome. a midget dick radiator is the pride of Herberts cabinet(he keeps his rig in a cupboard) Wot~I~Tell~you~son?. you should do far less Artkelen on your self... "
" Vi har tatt en titt på HW-Labs Black Ice Extreme II Chrome. En meget pen radiator som vil pryde et hvert kabinett. Ytelsen? Du får lese artikkelen og se selv..."
*EDIT for translation mistayke* the last line should read : "do far less 'polarbear killing' dog see self"