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bigben2k · 01-31-2003, 01:23 PM

Thanks Golovko.

My wife and I took her up to a counsellor yesterday, and her assesment is: "She's in complete denial, over what happened". So we've (actually my wife) made arrangements for her to see this counsellor every other week.

I think that my stepdaughter understands most of "what's bad", but clearly doesn't have the understanding of "making the right choice".

As I was explaining it to my wife this morning, acting emotionally is a privilege that one has to earn for themselves. It comes from knowing what's wrong and what's right, but more importantly, knowing that we will make the right decision, when faced with a choice. My stepdaughter isn't there yet.

In the meantime, she's going to have to a) trust that mom/dad/stepdad is in the position to tell her what to do, and accept it (instead of trying to butt heads all the time) and b) get into the habit of "stop and think".

In scientific terms, that's called self-discipline. In religious terms, it's called "carrying God in your heart" or "living with the Holy Spirit".

If she keeps making the choice to live within the edge of the law, she will slip and fail (as we all do, it's human), but if she holds herself up to a higher standard (i.e. God), then not only does she not have to worry about breaking a law (because some of God's values are represented in the laws), but when she slips, it won't be anything as bad as what happened, and she can simply ask Him for forgiveness, and try not to do it again!

So christian schools can be good, if they understand and apply the above. As a parent, we can only influence her environment, especially at the age she is: 15.

I can however, remind her what her choices are... (big speech coming up this weekend, I hope!)

Well, that's my take on it... Opinions?

01-31-2003, 01:23 PM	#36
bigben2k Responsible for 2% of all the posts here. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Texas, U.S.A. Posts: 8,302	Thanks Golovko. My wife and I took her up to a counsellor yesterday, and her assesment is: "She's in complete denial, over what happened". So we've (actually my wife) made arrangements for her to see this counsellor every other week. I think that my stepdaughter understands most of "what's bad", but clearly doesn't have the understanding of "making the right choice". As I was explaining it to my wife this morning, acting emotionally is a privilege that one has to earn for themselves. It comes from knowing what's wrong and what's right, but more importantly, knowing that we will make the right decision, when faced with a choice. My stepdaughter isn't there yet. In the meantime, she's going to have to a) trust that mom/dad/stepdad is in the position to tell her what to do, and accept it (instead of trying to butt heads all the time) and b) get into the habit of "stop and think". In scientific terms, that's called self-discipline. In religious terms, it's called "carrying God in your heart" or "living with the Holy Spirit". If she keeps making the choice to live within the edge of the law, she will slip and fail (as we all do, it's human), but if she holds herself up to a higher standard (i.e. God), then not only does she not have to worry about breaking a law (because some of God's values are represented in the laws), but when she slips, it won't be anything as bad as what happened, and she can simply ask Him for forgiveness, and try not to do it again! So christian schools can be good, if they understand and apply the above. As a parent, we can only influence her environment, especially at the age she is: 15. I can however, remind her what her choices are... (big speech coming up this weekend, I hope!) Well, that's my take on it... Opinions? __________________ WBTA (Water Block Testing Alliance) Nordic Hardware WC 101 Last edited by bigben2k; 01-31-2003 at 01:28 PM.