Longhorn = Palladium. Bad news.
Lindows = Linux w/o most of the features. Bad news.
If you want an easy to use flavor of Linux, pop Mandrake or Red Hat on your box and install XPde as the GUI. You shouldn't have any problems, and when you install WINE/X, Crossover Plugin, and Crossover Office, you should be able to run many Windows appz on your machine, including many games.
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#!/bin/sh {who;} {last;} {pause;} {grep;} {touch;} {unzip;} mount /dev/girl -t {wet;} {fsck;} {fsck;} {fsck;} {fsck;} echo yes yes yes {yes;} umount {/dev/girl;zip;} rm -rf {wet.spot;} {sleep;} finger: permission denied
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