It's not. In the end you'd spend more than the cost of a phase change unit to get it set up and semi-reliable ... though you can never engineer out the human component unless you have a university scale budget (i.e. massive waste, fraud, and abuse).
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#!/bin/sh {who;} {last;} {pause;} {grep;} {touch;} {unzip;} mount /dev/girl -t {wet;} {fsck;} {fsck;} {fsck;} {fsck;} echo yes yes yes {yes;} umount {/dev/girl;zip;} rm -rf {wet.spot;} {sleep;} finger: permission denied
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