Merry Christmas Everyone

DodgeViper · 12-21-2002, 11:17 PM

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday.

Nick C · 12-21-2002, 11:26 PM

you too man

anyone hoping for a Whitewater in thier stockings?

Puzzdre · 12-22-2002, 02:10 AM

Thx, and Merry Christmas to all of you people!

What hc Santa has in that sleigh? Is it copper, hmmm???

MadDogMe · 12-22-2002, 03:39 AM

just so long as it is'nt 'yellow water'!, urghh!

...

LiquidRulez · 12-22-2002, 04:07 AM

Well according to this letter I recieved recently, Santas not coming this year.
Heres the letter ..you be the judge

Letter from Santa Claus...

Dear Parent(s)

I regret to inform you that effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve the Southern United States on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local #209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind.

However, I am certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole.

He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls. However, there are a few differences between us such as:

1. There is no danger of The Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:
"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace and Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer, one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back off". The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh as well. One is a Ford logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) peeing on the Tooth Fairy.

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hog Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state police cars crashing into each other.

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure the wife and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me, like "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox"; Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack", and Johnny Paycheck's "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, Shove It."

Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus
(Member) North American Fairies and Elves Local #209

LiquidRulez · 12-22-2002, 06:17 AM

Yeah...Merry Christmas

Puzzdre · 12-22-2002, 07:39 AM

MDM: LOL!

Seems that this year Santa has more problems than usual...Here's the local reindeer replacement being checked before the action starts...Yeah, we here have somewhat strange kinds of animals in Santa's service...Too bad I don't have the pic of the Santa himself!

lrulez, too bad that Santa comming in these parts don't have the same bag of gifts...considering this:

Fixittt · 12-22-2002, 10:10 AM

Well, Im about to piss on the whole christmas sprit thing we have hear. I am not doing xmas this year. My grandmother died right before halloween, and I moved out of the house shortly after that. My wife and I are getting a divorce. So I have no one to buy anything for. Piss on the whole x mas thing.

So all I have to say is this

BAH HUM BUG!!!!!!

Puzzdre · 12-22-2002, 01:49 PM

Sorry for your grandma...Mine died in september...

pHaestus · 12-22-2002, 04:54 PM

That's a lot of grief for a single period fixittt; sorry to hear about that. I haven't seen my grandparents in ~ 2 years and am going home over Christmas. Should be fun, though they are all too old to be able to really party nowadays

LiquidRulez · 12-22-2002, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fixittt
Well, Im about to piss on the whole christmas sprit thing we have hear. I am not doing xmas this year. My grandmother died right before halloween, and I moved out of the house shortly after that. My wife and I are getting a divorce. So I have no one to buy anything for. Piss on the whole x mas thing.

So all I have to say is this

BAH HUM BUG!!!!!!

I too am, sorry to hear that news . As far as the divorce thing......Ive been there man,So i know how ****ed up of a time you are having right now. Mine happened before Christmas too 2 years ago last friday.(Statistics show that more people divorce during the holidays than any other time of year.
All I can say is that.........well ,you know how it goes blah,blah,blah.
You can buy yourself some stuff, and do it without any explanations and greif. Get a bigger mill, buy a car, get drunk and fall off the porch, rent a few whores.......ect.
It's going to get better, youll see dude.Pretty soon youll look back and wonder why it even bothered you so bad(about the divorce, not the Gmother[theyre priceless]
I just hope that theyre arent any kids involved because they will do the real suffering in the whole thing.
Cheer up bro. Life goes on. You live and you learn.
And as far as your Grandmother goes, well shes not suffering anymore, and she is as perky and energetic as she was as a child now....... No more medicine, no more government screwing her out of her life long social security earnings, as they see fit. Just happiness.
Its gonna be alright man.

jaydee · 12-22-2002, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fixittt
Well, Im about to piss on the whole christmas sprit thing we have hear. I am not doing xmas this year. My grandmother died right before halloween, and I moved out of the house shortly after that. My wife and I are getting a divorce. So I have no one to buy anything for. Piss on the whole x mas thing.

So all I have to say is this

BAH HUM BUG!!!!!!

As long as she doesn't get the mill I am sure you will be fine!

Sorry to hear about the bad luck though.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

bigben2k · 12-23-2002, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fixittt
Well, Im about to piss on the whole christmas sprit thing we have hear. I am not doing xmas this year. My grandmother died right before halloween, and I moved out of the house shortly after that. My wife and I are getting a divorce. So I have no one to buy anything for. Piss on the whole x mas thing.

So all I have to say is this

BAH HUM BUG!!!!!!

You're always welcome at my house: there's always room for one more.

Now if I can only find that ham recipe...

utabintarbo · 12-23-2002, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bigben2k
...
Now if I can only find that ham recipe...

Ham recipe:

1. Go to Honey Baked Ham store
2. Wait in line
3. Buy 3 pounds
4. Pig Out!

bigben2k · 12-23-2002, 08:51 AM

No no no... I'm talking about that recipe with the can of beer! I think there was molasses too... Gotta shoot Daddyo an e-mail!

BTW, I just picked up a six-pack of Guiness: I can get more if needed!

12-21-2002, 11:17 PM	#1
DodgeViper Registered User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Tucson, Arizona Posts: 204	Merry Christmas Everyone Hope you all have a wonderful holiday.

12-22-2002, 02:10 AM	#3
Puzzdre Cooling Savant Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Croatia Posts: 969	Thx, and Merry Christmas to all of you people! What hc Santa has in that sleigh? Is it copper, hmmm??? __________________ 'Out of cheese error... ...please reboot the universe (press the GBL to continue)'

12-22-2002, 10:10 AM	#8
Fixittt CNC Beyatch Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Tulsa Spell it backwards Posts: 721	Well, Im about to piss on the whole christmas sprit thing we have hear. I am not doing xmas this year. My grandmother died right before halloween, and I moved out of the house shortly after that. My wife and I are getting a divorce. So I have no one to buy anything for. Piss on the whole x mas thing. So all I have to say is this BAH HUM BUG!!!!!! __________________ Creator of the Spir@l Block Longest post ever http://forums.procooling.com/vbb/showthread.php?s=&postid=43808#post43808

12-22-2002, 01:49 PM	#9
Puzzdre Cooling Savant Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Croatia Posts: 969	Sorry for your grandma...Mine died in september... __________________ 'Out of cheese error... ...please reboot the universe (press the GBL to continue)'

12-23-2002, 08:51 AM	#15
bigben2k Responsible for 2% of all the posts here. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Texas, U.S.A. Posts: 8,302	No no no... I'm talking about that recipe with the can of beer! I think there was molasses too... Gotta shoot Daddyo an e-mail! BTW, I just picked up a six-pack of Guiness: I can get more if needed! __________________ WBTA (Water Block Testing Alliance) Nordic Hardware WC 101

12-21-2002, 11:26 PM	#2
Nick C Cooling Neophyte Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: OREGON Posts: 62	you too man anyone hoping for a Whitewater in thier stockings?

12-22-2002, 03:39 AM	#4
MadDogMe Thermophile Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Just shut up ;) ... Posts: 1,068	just so long as it is'nt 'yellow water'!, urghh! ...

12-22-2002, 04:07 AM	#5
LiquidRulez Cooling Savant Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: In Hell Posts: 322	Well according to this letter I recieved recently, Santas not coming this year. Heres the letter ..you be the judge Letter from Santa Claus... Dear Parent(s) I regret to inform you that effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve the Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local #209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind. However, I am certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls. However, there are a few differences between us such as: 1. There is no danger of The Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace and Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer, one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back off". The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh as well. One is a Ford logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) peeing on the Tooth Fairy. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hog Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state police cars crashing into each other. 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure the wife and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me, like "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox"; Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack", and Johnny Paycheck's "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, Shove It." Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus (Member) North American Fairies and Elves Local #209

12-22-2002, 04:54 PM	#10
pHaestus Big Player Making Big Money Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: irc.lostgeek.com #procooling.com Posts: 4,782	That's a lot of grief for a single period fixittt; sorry to hear about that. I haven't seen my grandparents in ~ 2 years and am going home over Christmas. Should be fun, though they are all too old to be able to really party nowadays

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